Hospice nurse reveals the most common regret that people have on their deathbeds: "I wish I had..."

The feeling of regret can become an overwhelming burden for a human being over time, especially if there's no way of making things right. Nurses, doctors, and medical staff often hear the haunting stories of “what if” and “if only” from patients in their final moments. The confessions vary but they share a common regret for missed opportunities and mistakes. Julie McFadden, better known as 'Hospice Nurse Julie' on social media, has heard a lot of such stories from dying people. With years of experience by the side of hundreds of patients staring at the end of their lives, she revealed the emotional regrets that people often voice as they prepare to leave this world to podcaster Rob Moore.

According to Unilad, she said, "The greatest regret of the dying they have said to me is they didn't appreciate their health when they had it. So when like for example, they're just not hungry, they don't want to eat, but they see their family and they wish they wanted to eat. They wish they wanted the food that their family was offering them." She added, "Or of course when they're having symptoms. I wish I had appreciated how easy it was for me to get up, get out of bed, and go to work. Or go anywhere. And now I can't. I wish I would've appreciated those things. And that stuff hits home for me because you can take that for granted so easily, all of your abilities to do things. And that's mostly what they've said to me."

She characterized the burden of dealing with regrets at the end of life as a tough pill for one to swallow. McFadden went on to discuss what she thinks is the most crucial lesson to take away from other people's experiences. She said, "So, anyone listening, we're all dying but we're not dead yet and I think it's important [...] I don't think it's about, 'We're all going to die so quit your jobs and jump out of an airplane, go travel the world'. That is cool if that's what you want to do. And I realize we still have to live our lives." She added, "So I think there's something about confronting our own mortality so we can live our day-to-day life in the sense of waking up in the morning and thanking our bodies, whoever, that we opened our eyes and are now conscious again."

While McFadden strives to remove the stigma surrounding death, she doesn’t shy away from exposing that even dying in the U.S. comes with a huge price. In her view, having financial resources can make the process easier. She stresses that many working-class families must bear the financial burden of end-of-life care in addition to the emotional burden as hospice treatment is not free. McFadden believes that actual accessibility is a luxury that only the wealthy can afford, which she believes is incredibly unfair, as reported by the New York Post.

The hospice nurse also shared that her goal is to prepare people for the realities of dying long before they find themselves confronting death. Meanwhile, the nurse also spoke about one common phenomenon people go through in hospice care, called visioning. In the weeks leading up to death, many patients report seeing long-lost loved ones, cherished pets, and even relatives. While some speculate that a lack of oxygen to the brain might be the cause of these visions, McFadden is quick to debunk that theory, emphasizing that science is yet to explain why it happens, as reported by Upworthy.