Psychologist mom sends her son to school hungry to teach him a key lesson: 'That was hard...'
Sometimes, parents have to make some tough choices or follow a strict approach to teach their kids some important life lessons. While it may seem harsh in the moment, these actions are often rooted in love and a desire to help children grow into responsible adults. Letting the kids face the consequences of their choices is one of the most effective ways to help them learn new things. Navigating this subject, licensed clinical psychologist and TikTok Mom, Raquel Martin (@raquelmartinphd), has sparked an interesting conversation online after revealing that she sent her son, Russell, to school hungry to teach him a lesson in time management.
She explains that parenting isn’t easy and sometimes means letting discomfort be the teacher. While it is important to validate the emotions of children, she believes they may fail to regulate their feelings efficiently if they’re not allowed to experience them in the first place. Martin argues that the main goal of parenting should not be to protect kids from every consequence, but to prepare them to handle real-life challenges. She added, "Today, I decided to hold this young man accountable in a way that was hard for both of us."
She continued, "I reminded Russell multiple times that it was time to get ready for school and clearly explained the consequences of not being ready on time, so that he could have time to eat." She even prepared his breakfast and placed it in front of him, reminding him several times to eat instead of getting distracted by other things. But despite all her efforts, Russell ignored his mom, and when it was time to leave, he suddenly wanted to eat. However, Martin didn't allow that to happen. She went on to say, "Real growth comes from experiencing the impact of your choices even when we're young."
She added, "Protecting children doesn't mean eliminating the discomfort; it means guiding them through it." The expert mom used the opportunity to share a few tips with fellow parents to help them teach their kids accountability. She asked parents to set clear expectations and communicate what's needed and why, and let them know the impact of their choices. She also encouraged parents to follow through with the consequences they’ve set for their kids if rules are broken, even when it’s difficult to do so. After a while, parents can take a deep breath and talk to their kids about it, but not immediately, says Martin. People in the comments thanked her for making them realize what's right.
One TikTok user, @sdsstargazer, commented, “Natural consequences are necessary. You learn from failure, not success. It is so important to have discussions after, so kids can make the connection.” Another person, @wordsofessence_ , wrote, “I love this! At times, parenting is painful! However, we make tough decisions and teach hard lessons today that will help them later.” Similarly, @mscaramelb chimed in and said, “I needed to see this while teaching my 8-year-old a tough lesson right now. I felt so bad and wanted to break, but I’m sticking it out.”