Admit it or not, we all keep backup plans when it comes to relationships. What no one likes is being someone else's back up.
Life is all about finding that one compatible person you wish to keep with yourself, till the end of time. Searching for the same can be hard, in fact, very hard. You make the wrong choices, pick the wrong people, get your heart broken...the list is long and how!
But, the more people you meet, the easier and faster it becomes to find your favorite human. Dating comes in handy when trying to pace up your ‘soulmate finding’ process. It’s a game and you must play with all the right cards.
When browsing through humans, people tend to pick their favorite, their second favorite and so on, usually known as ‘back-ups’. And, admit it or not, you’ve had backups too and you have kept someone as your back-ups. Come-on we all have been there, done that.
As much as people love to create backups, for safety purposes, because no one wants to die alone, right? No one wants to be anyone else’s back up plan either. Ever wondered if you’re your partner’s back up plan? Watch out for these signs:
When you started dating, your partner seemed a little off. Even though you were dating, your partner was uninterested and distracted. But as the days passed by, their behavior suddenly changed and they started appreciating you more.
If that’s the case, chances are you were your partner’s back up plan. When you two started dating, your partner was also seeing someone else but since that quite didn’t work out, you were their next best choice.
When, where and what – everything is about your partner’s convenience. They’re selfish in their ways and think about their interests before yours, all the time. They don’t take your plans seriously and always convince you to suit theirs.
If this point seems relatable to you, you might be your partner’s back up. When a person isn’t totally invested in a relationship, they tend to put minimal or no efforts at all, as for them, there are more options available and they don’t wish to settle, just yet.
If it’s been a while since you two started dating and your partner still hasn’t introduced you to his friends or family and whenever you bring the topic of meeting their loved ones, your partner gets all uncomfortable and shrugs the conversation away, it’s a bad sign.
When you’re temporary in someone’s life, they don’t introduce you to the permanent people in their life due to the problems which might arise later. Also, most people share everything with their friends, so if you’re a backup, your partner’s friends already know.
If you’re your partner’s backup plan, they’ll never put a label on you. They’ll keep you on the hook and when asked, they’ll tell you that they’re not ready just yet, they want to take things slow and more excuses like that.
If you were your partner’s main, first thing they’d want to do is put a label on you. Humans are extremely protective of the things and people they love. Plus, when someone is truly in love with you, you can see it in their eyes. Trust your gut.
You made a plan to meet your friends and you asked your partner to accompany you so that you can introduce them to your loved ones and suddenly your partner is busier and superrrr occupied and overwhelmed with all the things they have to do.
If your partner is always unavailable for your plans, be it a date you planned or a weekend getaway, it’s a clear sign your partner is not really interested and is spending his/her precious time somewhere else. You may be your partner’s back up.
Want to move in? Get a pet together? Need help with making a difficult decision? Emotional guidance? 'ERROR 404 – Partner not found.' If you’re your partner’s back up, they’ll never make decisions with you, will shrug away the idea of moving in together and never adopt a pet together. They’ll never share responsibilities with you.
If the signs above seem relatable to you, there’s a chance that you might be your partner’s back up. And, if you feel that your partner is seeing someone else behind your back or is not fully emotionally invested in you, they probably aren’t. Trust your gut. Walk away from people who don’t really appreciate you or your presence. Be with someone who loves you for you, not because you were their next best alternative.