One can never get bored of charming romance and promise of love, but what if there is more to the frequent flowers and flattery that your new partner is showering on you?
Love has been the stuff of the legends since first flowers were exchanged between obscure cavemen and cavewomen, we don't know when it happened. However, the promise and the elevating effects of a new romantic relationship have more or less remained too pristine a feeling to be scrutinized properly.
In modern times, when the expressions of love transcend boundaries, more and more emotionally abusive relationships are coming to light and being recognized. The emotional manipulations run so rampantly in certain relationships that the victim hardly stands a chance to even realize it. And controlling partners know how to do it smoothly and are good at it.
The newfound love soon takes one's attention away from their friends and family, they are seen changing the way they speak or are too careful to let go of small errors, and more internal changes than one can count may be happening without the person noticing it themselves since they are so much in love.
Toxic relationships can knock at anyone's heart. However, in new relationships, controlling behavior can elude one's radar, so much so that the person would pay no heed to the warning signs that their family and friends are giving them about their new partner. Instead, those controlling behaviors may seem like positive traits of the new partner one is with. This is also because controlling individuals know how to look smooth while they manipulate others.
Whether the controlling behavior harms a person emotionally or physically, it is surely not healthy to be romantically involved with a manipulative person. If one sees the following signs in their partners, its wise to tread with caution:
1. Abundant attention
Isn't it cute when one's partner remembers the smallest of things about them? Despite it being just a couple of weeks into the relationship? One of the most charming things about a new relationship is the attention one gets from their partner. However, it would mean something more if one's partner were a controlling one.
Attention can be a way a controlling person may hide what they truly seek, especially in young relationships. Moreover, individuals who have been ignored emotionally by their parents and friends are more prone to fall for more this form of manipulation through attention. Their victims may just be on top of the moon when they are heard with full attention and asked about their smallest of preferences.
They may notice smallest of things about us, which people hardly comment on generally. Soon they may gently take us away from our comfort zone, by learning things about us, until we do not have our individual space.
Controlling individuals tend to study their targets and learn what gets them. Their increased demands to see them on weekends despite being together almost every night throughout the week may be something to be wary of.
2. Effective Affection
One can hardly deny that young relationships are largely fueled by the attraction both the parties have for each other. And that seems charming to display in public, as we tend to revel under the attention we receive from someone we are attracted to. That may also be the reason why one would remember the words their crush spoke to them in 7th grade.
Controlling individuals tend to make sure they are visible and noticed by the public while they perform 'cute' gestures of epic romance. They also make sure there is no contention to their display of love in public.
One may find themselves being a little pressured to comply when a sudden kiss comes their way, while they are talking to their friends. One might notice that they are not very comfortable holding hands too much in public but their new partner might just go at it.
Such imposed intimacy that controlling individuals can't help enforcing may stem from a desire for 'ownership'. Moreover, their grand gestures would seem a little too much, but at the same time, they may be aimed at establishing their absolute right over their partner and let others know.
3. Commitment on the rocks
We know how hard it is to find 'the one', at least a genuine 'one'. However, a lot of us go through the painful process of committing to that apparently right person. We seek security and constancy since we don't like it when beautiful things end. And in such times, one someone comes so closely sure to put it on the rock that they want to settle, the new relationship could not ask for more.
Controlling individuals tend to target people with failed romances and know what exactly will get through their radars. Of course, an unsuspecting person would flourish and be overjoyed that someone wants them so exclusively that they are ready to commit.
In young relationships, when controlling individuals approach the subject of commitment, it could mean that they just want to keep one to themselves, and absolutely, and as fast as they can.
This behavior can largely be traced to their tendency to eliminate any chance for the victim to back off or have second thoughts. Since a proposal for commitment is aimed at negating any comparison one could make to check the normalcy of such invasion. Controlling individuals may be quite quick to say 'I love you' in young relationships, or even initiate meeting families or suggest moving in together.