Here's why interacting with a particular type of people just puts you off or gets too much to bear, and it happens to quite a few of us.
Our social skills and preferences do not remain too constant, neither do they have much in common with other individuals when they are compared. However, it is not unheard of that there are a few people in our circles or groups who we just can't be around for too long.
And often times, despite making sure our behavior and opinions are consistent in public, our social self is rarely understood by people in our daily lives. Subsequently, you feel your friends and colleagues are going away from you or you are driving them away somehow.
Though it is true that we can't be liked by everyone in this world of subjective perceptions and easy judgments, we adhere to our versions of socially desirable behaviors and patterns with an automatic finesse. It is true that accounting for cultural, ethnic, political and other variables may influence these patterns, but there's more to the effect they have on others.
Here are a few variable behavior traits that could leave questionable impressions on one's audience/social circles, divided into categories (with a few overlaps). Find out which ones you are likely to be repelled by or not pay attention to if they were in a room with you.
a) The humble bragger
We do come across a couple of people who want to boast, but do not like being too obvious or obtuse while doing so. Such is the 'humblebragger' who would tell you that they can't keep their Mercedes clean on the dusty roads to their new place.
According to a study by Harvard Business Review, when one disguises their bragging with a rant or a complaint; or when they brag with humility, they do not benefit from any of the strategies. Contrastingly, they end up coming across as someone who is insincere.
b) The thick ethics man
Remeber the times when someone told you that you were wrong and you intentionally and conspicuously defied them with even more vehemence? One of the studies in the Journal of Consumer Psychology reveals that we immediately dislike those who question our morals or criticize our ethics.
It is easy to observe that when our moral make-up takes a hit of judgment or scolding, it fuels our resolve to do things our way and defy the ones who question us. This tendency seems to be stemming from our natural tendency of comparing themselves with others. When they are told their moral self is lower is quality, they find themselves wanting to not look inferior, and hence we end up not liking their company.
Rebecca Reczek, associate professor of marketing at the Fisher College of Business at Ohio State University, states that how moral or ethical we are is integral to our identity and how we feel about ourselves. When such an important part of a person is harped on, they tend to feel worse about themselves and it ends up driving them away from such encounters.
c) The correction man
Many people would agree that when they are corrected for their typos or any communication glitch for too many times, they are bound to get irked sooner than we would want. In fact, even writers sometimes hit a wall with their editors and proof-readers, despite it being the editor's job.
Now If someone makes you feel that they are doing a favor by correcting you, and highlights your errors without anybody asking them to, what would you feel? Studies show that such people are majorly extroverts and don't like being agreeable to anybody else.
When someone tries just a bit too hard to be come across as someone likable, their ways end up suggesting that they lack self-esteem or something more is wrong.
Sharing is sometimes scaring
Of course, you have found yourself in situations where you wish the things someone was telling you inspired no imagery, but end up leaving you reeling from an invasion on your mental eyes. When someone shares intimate details too soon with people, they can end up brewing too much discomfort.
A study by the University of Illinois states that it could be because when a person shares their intimate information, it shows their inability to know who to trust with secrets. Thus making others cautious of interacting with you about themselves, eventually limiting interaction.
Friends and numbers
It is true that one needs their friends from time to time. We can never have too many of them, yes, if they are real. On Facebook, however, too many friends in numbers suggests that something is wrong.
A study by Michigan State University found that individuals who have a lot of friends on social media may seem like someone who only cares about Facebook so much that they are making friends out of desperation instead of their popularity.
The too cheery one
Do you know someone whose positivity irks you too much? And do they make you feel that they don't know what they are talking about under all that 'the entire glass is full' attitude?
Yes, many cheery people may have genuine wisdom, their gravitas is often lost on people. A study by New York University states that very happy individuals come across as naive and lacking in the strength to deal with harsh and negative information in the world.
There are certain behavioral traits and quirks that make people seem untrustworthy or and prompt people to back off a bit.
Those who hide their real self
People enjoy talking about themselves and when someone is paying close attention to them, it is not uncommon to hit off a great friendship or acquaintance. But when some is just asking about you, and not telling things about themselves, it can creep people out a bit.
A study by the University of Oregon mentions that it is off-putting when people hide their emotions. Moreover, those who were seen suppressing their emotions came across as someone who is insecure and less extroverted and less agreeable. This may lead to people being less interested in them or not be around them at all.
The too nice one
A good person leaves pleasant afterthoughts and nice experiences with whoever they interact. But too much niceness can spook people out. In one of the studies conducted by Washington State and Desert Research Institute in 2010 shows that selflessness can make people cautious too.
It states: “Perhaps this person is lulling us into a false sense of security in order to take advantage of us later.”
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