Signs that you're not ready to return to the dating game after a breakup

Signs that you're not ready to return to the dating game after a breakup

When do you know that you've sufficiently moved on from a break-up to date again? These signs may give you an idea of how prepared you are for your next relationship.

After a particularly painful break-up, it may take people months to recover sufficiently to begin dating again. Some people miraculously move on within a few weeks, but they may still carry baggage from their previous relationship. If you're wondering if you're not suited for another relationship just yet, these signs can help you be sure:

A painful split can make it hard to return to the dating scene (Pexels)
A painful split can make it hard to return to the dating scene (Pexels)

1. You're looking for a distraction

One thing you needed to ask yourself before getting back to the dating game is if you're merely bored and are looking for some excitement. If you date someone casually without really expecting to get serious, you may end up hurting their feelings. Try to find like-minded people who are also seeking a break from their mundane lives to avoid dealing with messy emotions later on.

Are you bored and merely looking for a distraction? (Pexels)
Are you bored and merely looking for a distraction? (Pexels)

2. You're still hung up on your ex

You can't stop thinking about your ex and how much you still love them, or you're so bitter about them that you're consumed with anger and hatred toward them. If thoughts of your ex constantly occupy your mind, you don't have the mental space to give another person just yet.

Do you still nurse feelings for your ex? (Pexels)
Do you still nurse feelings for your ex? (Pexels)

3. You think that anything is better than being single

Sometimes we push ourselves to get back into the dating game out of an irrational fear of being single. We think that being single is a bad thing, and that true happiness comes from being in a relationship. If you're only looking to escape singlehood, then you may be willing to enter a bad relationship that could end up hurting you even more.

You think that anything is better than being single (Pexels)
You think that anything is better than being single (Pexels)

4. You're happier than you've ever been

If you are happy with where you're at and feel sufficiently supported by your friendships, then a relationship may ruin the balance you've carefully created. If a relationship feels like the natural next step, then don't hold back. However, remember that dating brings its own cares and burdens, and you need to ask yourself if you have the emotional stability to deal with that.

Are you happy with the way things are? (Pexels)
Are you happy with the way things are? (Pexels)

5. You're still sleeping with your ex

This is a major sign that you need to keep yourself out of the pool of eligible singles. Sleeping with someone you once loved indicates that you haven't moved on yet and probably still have feelings for them. You don't want your ex to complicate your dynamics with the other people you date.

Do you still seek out your ex for physical intimacy? (Pexels)
Do you still seek out your ex for physical intimacy? (Pexels)

6. You're hoping that a relationship will heal the hurts of your past relationship

Healing needs to be a self-driven process, and you need to take responsibility for your own growth and well-being. When you place this in the hands of another person, you risk having the rip in your heart widened and you also teach yourself to let other people deal with your problems instead of confronting them yourself.

Do you expect someone else to heal your wounds from the past? (Pexels)
Do you expect someone else to heal your wounds from the past? (Pexels)

7. You want someone to fill the emptiness

If you feel like there's a huge void in your life that you're hoping someone else will fill with their love, then you place an undue burden of expectations on the next person you date. In order to have a fulfilling relationship, you need to feel complete as a person and love yourself first.

Are you looking for someone to make you feel whole again? (Pixabay)
Are you looking for someone to make you feel whole again? (Pixabay)

8. Your ex is still your go-to person for everything

Do you talk to your ex every night, or do you call them every time you're in a crisis? Even after your break-up, have you failed to completely register in your mind that they are no longer your partner, or do you still treat them the same? Chances are you may secretly see them as 'the one.'

Do you still call your ex every time you have a problem? (Pexels)
Do you still call your ex every time you have a problem? (Pexels)

9. You're still finding yourself

After a break-up, it's good to take time to rediscover yourself. You tend to lose a lot of yourself in a relationship, be it your values or your interests or even your friends. All the things that you set aside for your ex now come to the fore. You may have set aside your dreams and are looking for ways to pursue them, so focus on doing the things you neglected in your previous relationship.

You may still be on a journey to discover yourself (Pexels)
You may still be on a journey to discover yourself (Pexels)

10. You haven't learned lessons from your past relationships

Self-reflection after a break-up can help you figure out what went wrong. You determine the things that went wrong and take responsibility for your part in them. You also look at what you did right and assess your strengths in a relationship. If you haven't had time to learn, then you may repeat the mistakes of the past in your new relationship.

Give yourself time to reflect on your past relationship (Pexels)
Give yourself time to reflect on your past relationship (Pexels)

11. You're afraid to be yourself

A healthy relationship involves both people involved accepting each other for who they are. If you're worried that getting into the dating game means having to pretend to be someone else so that people will like you, you may only end up anxious about being 'found out.'

Do you feel anxious about being found out? (Pixabay)
Do you feel anxious about being found out? (Pixabay)

12. You like being free from commitment

One of the perks of being single is that you're not bound to report your whereabouts to another person or constantly having to make plans centered around them. If you love being obliged to please nobody but yourself, then a relationship isn't for you at this point.

Do you enjoy being free from commitment? (Pexels)
Do you enjoy being free from commitment? (Pexels)

13. You hate dealing with other people's emotions

Does the sight of other people crying make you squirm? Do you feel extremely flustered and embarrassed when someone looks at you besottedly and leans over to tell you how much they love you? Do you abhor holding hands in public or comforting an emotional partner? If you answered yes to all these questions, the dating pool could do without you and vice versa.

Do you feel flustered or helpless when other people display their emotions? (Pixabay)
Do you feel flustered or helpless when other people display their emotions? (Pixabay)

14. You feel obliged to date someone out of pity

Perhaps one of the worst reasons to get into a relationship is because you feel sorry for the person and hope that you can 'fix' their problems by being there for them. You waste your own time by being unavailable to more suitable partners, and your plan may eventually backfire when you inevitably break the heart of the person you're with.

Don't date someone out of pity (Pexels)
Don't date someone out of pity (Pexels)

15. You have no personal boundaries when it comes to relationships

Finally, avoid dating if you are unable to maintain an independent identity from your partner in a relationship. You need to be very aware of yourself, your needs, your desires, your preferences, and what makes you unique. The moment you compromise all these things for a partner, you begin to lose who you are.

Do you lose your identity in a relationship? (Pixabay)
Do you lose your identity in a relationship? (Pixabay)
Disclaimer : This article is for your entertainment / infotainment purposes.

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