When do you know that you've sufficiently moved on from a break-up to date again? These signs may give you an idea of how prepared you are for your next relationship.
After a particularly painful break-up, it may take people months to recover sufficiently to begin dating again. Some people miraculously move on within a few weeks, but they may still carry baggage from their previous relationship. If you're wondering if you're not suited for another relationship just yet, these signs can help you be sure:
One thing you needed to ask yourself before getting back to the dating game is if you're merely bored and are looking for some excitement. If you date someone casually without really expecting to get serious, you may end up hurting their feelings. Try to find like-minded people who are also seeking a break from their mundane lives to avoid dealing with messy emotions later on.
You can't stop thinking about your ex and how much you still love them, or you're so bitter about them that you're consumed with anger and hatred toward them. If thoughts of your ex constantly occupy your mind, you don't have the mental space to give another person just yet.
Sometimes we push ourselves to get back into the dating game out of an irrational fear of being single. We think that being single is a bad thing, and that true happiness comes from being in a relationship. If you're only looking to escape singlehood, then you may be willing to enter a bad relationship that could end up hurting you even more.
If you are happy with where you're at and feel sufficiently supported by your friendships, then a relationship may ruin the balance you've carefully created. If a relationship feels like the natural next step, then don't hold back. However, remember that dating brings its own cares and burdens, and you need to ask yourself if you have the emotional stability to deal with that.
This is a major sign that you need to keep yourself out of the pool of eligible singles. Sleeping with someone you once loved indicates that you haven't moved on yet and probably still have feelings for them. You don't want your ex to complicate your dynamics with the other people you date.
Healing needs to be a self-driven process, and you need to take responsibility for your own growth and well-being. When you place this in the hands of another person, you risk having the rip in your heart widened and you also teach yourself to let other people deal with your problems instead of confronting them yourself.
If you feel like there's a huge void in your life that you're hoping someone else will fill with their love, then you place an undue burden of expectations on the next person you date. In order to have a fulfilling relationship, you need to feel complete as a person and love yourself first.
Do you talk to your ex every night, or do you call them every time you're in a crisis? Even after your break-up, have you failed to completely register in your mind that they are no longer your partner, or do you still treat them the same? Chances are you may secretly see them as 'the one.'
After a break-up, it's good to take time to rediscover yourself. You tend to lose a lot of yourself in a relationship, be it your values or your interests or even your friends. All the things that you set aside for your ex now come to the fore. You may have set aside your dreams and are looking for ways to pursue them, so focus on doing the things you neglected in your previous relationship.
Self-reflection after a break-up can help you figure out what went wrong. You determine the things that went wrong and take responsibility for your part in them. You also look at what you did right and assess your strengths in a relationship. If you haven't had time to learn, then you may repeat the mistakes of the past in your new relationship.
A healthy relationship involves both people involved accepting each other for who they are. If you're worried that getting into the dating game means having to pretend to be someone else so that people will like you, you may only end up anxious about being 'found out.'
One of the perks of being single is that you're not bound to report your whereabouts to another person or constantly having to make plans centered around them. If you love being obliged to please nobody but yourself, then a relationship isn't for you at this point.
Does the sight of other people crying make you squirm? Do you feel extremely flustered and embarrassed when someone looks at you besottedly and leans over to tell you how much they love you? Do you abhor holding hands in public or comforting an emotional partner? If you answered yes to all these questions, the dating pool could do without you and vice versa.
Perhaps one of the worst reasons to get into a relationship is because you feel sorry for the person and hope that you can 'fix' their problems by being there for them. You waste your own time by being unavailable to more suitable partners, and your plan may eventually backfire when you inevitably break the heart of the person you're with.
Finally, avoid dating if you are unable to maintain an independent identity from your partner in a relationship. You need to be very aware of yourself, your needs, your desires, your preferences, and what makes you unique. The moment you compromise all these things for a partner, you begin to lose who you are.