6 times you project your insecurities into your relationship

6 times you project your insecurities into your relationship

Projecting these insecurities in your relationship could lead to the end of the relationship. Have a conversation.

The things that you hate about others is generally the thing you hate about yourself. Similarly, your insecurities tend to manifest in your relationship in terrible and twisted ways. You may assume that you are insecure about the relationship, but in actuality, these are your personal insecurities. For instance, one might be constantly paranoid when your partner is out meeting other people without you because of the fear of him/her finding someone better and leaving you for them.

You may assume that you are insecure about the 
relationship, but in actuality, these are your insecurities (Pexels)
You may assume that you are insecure about the
relationship, but in actuality, these are your insecurities (Pexels)

Well, you might ruin your mental sanity by thinking about different worst outcomes that could possibly arise, according to you. Sorting through this cloud of paranoia would help you understand that it is not about your partner, but is your insecurity that is reflecting in the relationship. Projecting these insecurities in your relationship could lead to the end of the relationship and communicating with your partner by reasoning or explaining your thought process can help.

You might ruin your mental sanity by thinking about 
different worst outcomes that could possibly arise (Pexels)
You might ruin your mental sanity by thinking about
different worst outcomes that could possibly arise (Pexels)

This would allow the two of you to understand each other’s perspective and take necessary action to sustain the relationship. In addition to your insecurities, there are other problems and experiences that you might tend to project on the relationship and your partner. Understanding the root of projection would probably be within. So, here is another instance when you might be projecting your insecurities in your relationship.

Understanding the root of projection would probably be within (Pexels)
Understanding the root of projection would probably be within (Pexels)

1. Being jealous of other people

You might be jealous of the people your partner chooses to spend time with and question your reaction. It may be because you think that you would break promises in such a situation, you may not have a lot of friends and wishing you did or you talk badly behind their back and expect the same from them.

You might be jealous of the people your 
partner chooses to spend time with (Wikimedia Commons)
You might be jealous of the people your
partner chooses to spend time with (Wikimedia Commons)

Well, the diversion of attention fosters your insecurity driving you to feel insecure about your partner spending time with people other than you. This calls for introspection and working through this insecurity would help in getting rid of it. Making a few friends of your own or pursuing a hobby would help focus on things that would sustain the relationship.

Insecure about your partner spending time with people other than you (Pexels)
Insecure about your partner spending time with people other than you (Pexels)

2. Being on the watch

You can generally anticipate the other person's action based on what you are ready to do. Suspicious thoughts that your partner would cheat on you could be based on the thought that you might do the same.

Suspicious thoughts that your partner would cheat on you 
could be based on the thought that you might do the same (Pixabay)
Suspicious thoughts that your partner would cheat on you
could be based on the thought that you might do the same (Pixabay)

And this might be due to the fear of certain shortcomings that you might have, which would drive your partner away. Constantly bring doubted for being unfaith would frustrate your partner and drive him/her away. So, working through these problems would clear doubts and avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Fear of certain shortcomings that you might have (Pexels)
Fear of certain shortcomings that you might have (Pexels)

3. Resentful of too much free time for your partner

In a relationship in which the two of you are working can lead to feelings of resentment if your partner gets more time off than you. Having a flexible work schedule can give your partner more free time, which means less work for them.

Feelings of resentment if your partner gets more time off than you (Pixabay)
Feelings of resentment if your partner gets more time off than you (Pixabay)

Instead of blaming their free time for you feeling resentful the two of you should work together to spend more time together and utilize the time you have to the maximum. In a healthy relationship, the two of you would make time for each other and spend time doing a couple activities, thus, strengthening the bond the two of you share.

Make time for each other and spend time doing a 
couple activities, thus, strengthening the bond the two of you share (Pixabay)
Make time for each other and spend time doing a
couple activities, thus, strengthening the bond the two of you share (Pixabay)

4. Thinking that you are unattractive to them

In some cases, you might presume that your partner is losing interest in the relationship, which is primarily because he/she is not attracted to you. There might be two reasons behind this feeling, either you are not comfortable with your body or your attraction towards them is faded.

Either you are not comfortable with your body or your attraction towards them is faded (Pexels)
Either you are not comfortable with your body or your attraction towards them is faded (Pexels)

Well, you need to amend your lifestyle and do things that would help change your perception of yourself like, going to the gym, going on a shopping spree or going through a makeover. You need to invest in things that would make you comfortable in your skin. And if you are not attracted to your partner and still want to hold on to the relationship then, you need to talk it out and find solutions that would not lead to the end of the relationship.

You need to invest in things that would make you comfortable in your skin (Pixabay)
You need to invest in things that would make you comfortable in your skin (Pixabay)

5. Being certain that they have not moved on

This insecurity is a manifestation of your relations with your ex. This assumption is based on suspicion and your gut, unless, you have caught your partner stalking or talking to his/her ex. Well, this might be because you are in touch with someone from your past, which can be a reason for the spark of this suspicion.

This assumption is based on suspicion and your gut, unless, you 
have caught your partner stalking or talking to his/her ex (Pixabay
This assumption is based on suspicion and your gut, unless, you
have caught your partner stalking or talking to his/her ex (Pixabay

There is no set rule that prohibits any interaction from your ex, but if it begins impacting your relationship, you need to stop interactions. This would help rebuild the trust in the relationship and eliminate your suspicious nature.


via GIPHY


6. You think that he does not see you as an individual

Every person has their unique qualities and talents, which play a role in formulating your individualistic identity. In addition to the assumption that your partner has not moved on, you might assume that your partner does not see you as a person at all.


via GIPHY


Well, this is an insecurity that you consider him/her to be an amalgamation of the previous partners you have had. This generalization is the root cause of you have set a generalized view of a particular gender.

You consider him/her to be an amalgamation of the previous partners you have had (Pexels)
You consider him/her to be an amalgamation of the previous partners you have had (Pexels)

Insecurities can stem from a range of issues from physical insecurities. trust issues, to thinking that you are not good enough. You might fear abandonment, which would lead you to create walls and strongly guard yourself. In a relationship, if you tend to project these insecurities these traits tend to drive them away. Do not let your insecurities doom your relationship– identify your insecurities are work through them, which would help shred them in the budding stage.

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