We all have been through the worst and best side of our partner. We love to see their happy side of our partner but it's the bad mood that takes a little extra effort to handle.
Bad days...we all have them. Not all days are fun and sunshine. But, coming home to an angry partner is a nightmare. Did they have a bad day at work? Did you do something to piss your partner off? The possibilities are endless and so is the horror to calm them when they are having a bad mood.
When your partner is visibly angry (and scary) and you have no idea what’s wrong with him/her, don’t ignore them and start bragging about how amazing your day was! Notice them, try to understand their body language. Here are some tips you can use to deal with your angry partner and break the ice.
Observe your partner. Before you say anything, try to recollect if there’s anything you have done wrong or if you forgot to do something which your partner had asked you to do. Plan your next move accordingly.
If your partner seems too agitated and doesn’t look like he/she wants to talk to you right now, leave him/her alone. Respect your partner’s boundaries and give them some time. Let them cool down. Look for an appropriate time to approach and talk.
When your partner decides to tell you about their day, don’t try to fix their problems and start giving them solutions. For the love of god, DO NOT tell them to calm down, that’ll only add fuel to the fire. Just listen to what your partner has to say. Keep your opinions to yourself for the time being.
Don’t pretend to listen to your partner, actually pay attention to what they’re saying. Nod occasionally try to comfort your partner. Be a good listener. Encourage your partner to be open and tell you what’s bothering them.
Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and understand how he/she might be feeling. Empathize with your partner. If your partner wishes to be alone, leave them. If they don’t want to talk, sit beside them and comfort them, silently.
If your partner tells you to go away and leave them alone, don’t take personally. We all have bad days and when we do, we too, wish to be left alone and not bothered. Try to understand your partner from their point of view.
Don’t take this behavior of theirs personally, or as a sign that your partner doesn’t love you. Your partner still loves you, he/she is just having a bad day. Give them some space and time to adjust. Once they cool off and get over it, everything will be okay.
Offer your partner a walk on the beach, a long drive or anywhere they like. Distract your partner by going out with them. Try to make them smile. Sing songs for them while in the car, come home and cook them a nice meal.
Instead of ignoring your partner, try to resolve the matter. Make them talk it out. Talking out about what’s bothering someone always makes the person feel better. Be patient with your partner and comfort them with your love.
If your partner wishes to be left alone, do so. But, before you leave, tell your partner that you are always ears and your partner can always count on you if he/she wishes to talk. Assure your partner you won’t judge, only listen and you’re always there for him/her.
If it was something you did, apologize to your partner. Arguing will only make things worse. Just listen to what your partner has to say, accept it and say that you’re sorry. Sound sincere and honest with your words.
Even if you feel it isn’t really your fault, it’s still a better idea to apologize instead of fighting. Valuing your relationship more than your ego is the key to long and happy relationships. Saying sorry doesn’t make you the smaller person, it makes you the better person.
Getting mad or upset over a bad day is normal. But, if your partner gets angry very often and has a very unhealthy way of dealing with it ie screaming, bullying or abusing you, don’t tolerate such a behavior. This kind of behavior is highly toxic.
Talk it out with your partner when they’re in a good mood. Tell them how the way they cope with their anger is unhealthy and if affects and bothers you. Be straight and clear. Tell your partner you will not tolerate such kind of behavior again.