7 relationship 'rules' that might lead to an instant breakup of a serious relationship

7 relationship 'rules' that might lead to an instant breakup of a serious relationship

There are certain rules that are structured around older traditions and if implemented now it would do exactly opposite of what you were expecting. You need to choose the right one

Rules provide a structure and direction to the relationship and also help set certain boundaries in a relationship that would help two people exist harmoniously. Despite the fact, they enable smooth functioning of the relationship, but there are some rules made to be broken since there are old-ways that are not applicable to the new times.

There are certain rules that are structured around older traditions and if implemented now, they would do exactly opposite of what you were expecting. They profess to establish a strong and long-lasting relationship, but there is no consideration of the development of the dynamic with time. So, it is time to change your way of thinking. 

There are a few old traditions that are not applicable in the modern era (Pixabay)
There are a few old traditions that are not applicable in the modern era (Pixabay)

If you consider that you do not need new tools for your relationship to succeed in the long term, then either your partner has suppressed feelings or you have unrealistic expectations for the relationship. The change in thinking is considering the inadequacy of these pre-established rules, which might lead to the end of the relationship. So, here are 7 common relationship rules that might lead to a breakup even before you settle into your new relationship.

If you pick and choose correctly, then it leads to a long-lasting relationship (Pexels)
If you pick and choose correctly, then it leads to a long-lasting relationship (Pexels)

1. No phone privacy

There are multiple other ways to establish trust in a relationship other than scrolling through your partner's social media.  According to common belief, it is considered to be a way to establish trust by browsing through each other’s phone.

No couple privacy brings tension in the long-run (Pexels)
No couple privacy brings tension in the long-run (Pexels)

Well, this is a clear violation of privacy, which would make one feel locked in and resent the decision of getting into a relationship. For a long-term relationship, this is not a good practice, since it may be perceived as a lack of trust rather than having faith in your partner.

Breaching the privacy of your partner (Pixabay)
Breaching the privacy of your partner (Pixabay)

2. Equitable distribution of everything

This is the most common practice with couples since you think that you are dividing everything even-handedly from chores to responsibilities. This might be effective in the short run and may sound like a good relationship rule, but it would definitely have an inverse reaction to what you expected as the outcome.

Equal distribution of everything between the two of you (Pixabay)
Equal distribution of everything between the two of you (Pixabay)

This might seem to be a simple compromise initially, but with time, this practice would create a mental balance sheet, keeping an eye on the fair distribution of everything. This eliminates the emotion out of the equation and you would not go the extra mile for either to make your happy or just put in the effort to retain the excitement in the relationship.

You start making a mental balance sheet to start dividing things equally (Pixabay)
You start making a mental balance sheet to start dividing things equally (Pixabay)

3. Assuming that things would get easier after marriage

Thinking that marriage would make things easier if you are with the right one in the relationship. It is not always flowers and rainbows and there are going to be rough patches you need to work through. There are times when you would have to work as a couple and put in the effort to make things work, which requires a lot of patience.

Assuming that everything would be okay after marriage (Pexels)
Assuming that everything would be okay after marriage (Pexels)

Being under the misconception that your marriage would eliminate all the hurdles and problems is not a good philosophy to abide by. Not putting in the effort and letting problems linger can reduce communication and bring tension into the relationship and reduce the openness of the marriage.

There is a lot of effort and work that goes in after marriage (Pexels)
There is a lot of effort and work that goes in after marriage (Pexels)

4. Withholding information

It might be effective for a couple to “leave work at the workplace.” It might be okay to bring work at home sometimes and have open lines of communication. While having a closed off communication can allow you to spend quality time together and not focus on other things, but soon this may fade and you would not have anything to talk about.

Obeying the leave work at work philosophy (Pexels)
Obeying the leave work at work philosophy (Pexels)

This might also indicate a lack of support for the other showing that you do not share the similar sort of understanding. Having an open dialogue can allow you to be a part of your partner's life and vice versa. The choice depends on the choice of partners in the relationship.

Having a proper conversation and being a part of each other's lives is important (Pexels)
Having a proper conversation and being a part of each other's lives is important (Pexels)

5. Looking out for yourself in a relationship

Looking out for yourself in a relationship and retaining your identity (Pexels)
Looking out for yourself in a relationship and retaining your identity (Pexels)

Looking out for yourself in a relationship is important, since it retains your individuality and preferences. There is a general tendency that a partner might lose themselves in the relationship and forget the rest of the world. Well, doing this is important, but at the expense of your relationship, it would not succeed in the long-run. This would create tension in the relationship and soon either you or your partner would call it quits.

6. Money boundaries

Money is a factor that contributes to the spilled of a smooth functioning relationship, which makes it imperative to have a well-charted discussion about money. Having a stringent money policy is probably going to strain your relationship. Not talking about money at all or talking about money all the time can ruin the dynamics.

Having a well-charted discussion about money (Pexels)
Having a well-charted discussion about money (Pexels)

Money creates tension and causes the loss of intimacy and connection. Being flexible about money to a certain extent by restructuring your budget and making it an open discussion. You could also save the financial talk for when you visit a therapist or a financial advisor.

Holding off the discussion until you meet a financial advisor (Pexels)
Holding off the discussion until you meet a financial advisor (Pexels)

7. Doing things together

It is important to do couple things as well (Pexels)
It is important to do couple things as well (Pexels)

Doing things as a couple is essential to sustain the relationship and retain the spark in the relationship. Also, pursuing your hobbies is important, laying emphasis on “me-time”, which would give you some space to do your own thing. But no finding a middle ground or rather a few common passions then it might result in the two of you living separate lives. Having no common experiences would drift the two of you apart slowly.

Communicating in a relationship is important to set boundaries and deciding on which rules to break. If you cannot seem to have a discussion then you should probably visit a marriage counselor or a therapist to ease out the discussion.

Do not enter the relationship bound by these old-school rules, which would inevitably just ruin the relationship rather than repairing it. It is essential to make time for yourself and the two of you as a couple to have a smooth sailing ship.

Communication is essential to maintain a relationship (Pixabay)
Communication is essential to maintain a relationship (Pixabay)

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