8 ways in which you hurt your partner unintentionally in a relationship

8 ways in which you hurt your partner unintentionally in a relationship

You might have fights or arguments about tiny-fixable things and not talking about things leads to resentment, which would lead the two of you angering and annoying each other.

In a relationship, you would definitely not want to hurt your partner in any manner. You need to identify and understand the things that are not welcomed by your partner and makes him/her mad. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner need to put in the effort to maintain a good equation.

There might be instances when your partner is annoyed with you and you are not able to understand the reason (Pixabay)
There might be instances when your partner is annoyed with you and you are not able to understand the reason (Pixabay)

Putting in the effort also involves you figuring out and respecting your partner's boundaries, which would help you to avoid saying things that would upset them. You might have fights or arguments about tiny-fixable things, but the lack of communication is causing the tension. 

You might fight about tiny fixable things, but not talking about it causes the tension (Pexels)
You might fight about tiny fixable things, but not talking about it causes the tension (Pexels)

If you wish to maintain a healthy equation and sustain the relationship, you would have to discuss and identify things that you say are hurting him/her. This would help you make amends and fix your relationship making your bond deeper and connection stronger. Here is a list of ways you might be hurting your partner unintentionally in a relationship.

To maintain a healthy relationship you need to discuss and identify the things that hurt your partner (Pexels)
To maintain a healthy relationship you need to discuss and identify the things that hurt your partner (Pexels)

1. Not standing up for yourself

You might be the person who would let things slide and not speak up when you are upset with a few things or when someone else hurts you. Well, if you continue this behavior then, you might be hurting your partner too.

You might be the person who would let things slide and not speak up when someone hurts you (Pexels)
You might be the person who would let things slide and not speak up when someone hurts you (Pexels)

All the suppressed emotions would develop feelings of resentment and bottle up frustration. When the pile of resentment is filled to the brim you would burst out and say things that you probably did not mean, but end up hurting your partner. This best way is to cool down and then resolve the situation rather than letting things slide.

There might be a time when you react and lash out in an adverse manner (Pexels)
There might be a time when you react and lash out in an adverse manner (Pexels)

2. Making assumptions, which come off as selfish

You might take the effort to make tiny gestures in your relationship, which might not be perceived as intended. Well, regardless of your intentions, your actions might come off as selfish.

You might take the effort to make tiny gestures in your relationship, which might not be perceived as intended (Pexels)
You might take the effort to make tiny gestures in your relationship, which might not be perceived as intended (Pexels)

For instance, you get take-out, since you know that the two of you are tired to cook, but your partner might consider it as selfish. Either their dislike for the place or not being asked about their choice can help set the perception. Discussing and then making these decisions would be an effective way to show your efforts and make them perceived in the right manner.

Your gestures might come off as selfish (Pixabay)
Your gestures might come off as selfish (Pixabay)

3. Keeping money under lock-and-key

Being stringent about money, but finding ways to make your expenditures (Pexels)
Being stringent about money, but finding ways to make your expenditures (Pexels)

Money is a sensitive subject in relationships, and some couples might share a joint account to share their expenses. Well, if you restrict all your partner's spending’s under the pretext of savings and find ways to sneak in your expenses then, it would make your partner feel controlled. Setting a budget in a relationship and reach an agreement of equitable expenditure would help reach a middle ground and avoid the feeling of resentment in the relationship.

4. Becoming a parent rather than a partner

You might perceive this as a good gesture, but your partner would feel trapped in the relationship. Well, this would make them feel like they are in a relationship with their parents, which is definably not a good direction for the relationship.

You should avoid being a parent and instructing them about things (Pexels)
You should avoid being a parent and instructing them about things (Pexels)

You should avoid being a parent like, setting rules, dressing them, or instructing them in the way they should live their lives. There are certain decisions that need to be autonomous, which would allow your partner to be themselves.

Giving them the autonomy of decisions would make them feel accepted in the relationship (Pexels)
Giving them the autonomy of decisions would make them feel accepted in the relationship (Pexels)

5. Watching a Netflix series without them

Watching the TV series without them would them feel less important (Pexels)
Watching the TV series without them would them feel less important (Pexels)

This might seem trivial, but it carries a certain level of importance. For instance, getting home and watching four episodes of the show the two of you decided to watch together would hurt your partner. Well, this would show the lack of concern and to an extent, the degree of importance he/she has in your life.

6. Being too critical or brutally honest

Being too critical might make them feel undervalued (Pixabay)
Being too critical might make them feel undervalued (Pixabay)

Sharing the big ideas or trying new ventures is a common thing that couples do in a relationship. And in this situation, you need to be supportive and acknowledge their ideas rather than jumping to the feasibility of the idea. Being too critical and jumping to the questions of practicality and feasibility of the idea would make them feel unsupported and ruin their big moment.

7. Making plans without consulting your partner

In some cases making plans on the spot is a way to maintain the spontaneity in the relationship. But, this also involves a confirmation from your partner, which would take the plan forward. If you tend to make plans without asking your partner might hurt them. This would make them feel undervalued and send a message that their opinion does not matter.

This would make them feel undervalued (Pexels)
This would make them feel undervalued (Pexels)

In addition, making plans without consulting them would make you controlling in the relationship. You do not control the way they chose to spend their time and making plans would just make them feel controlled.

Do not portray yourself as the controlling partner if you aren't (Pexels)
Do not portray yourself as the controlling partner if you aren't (Pexels)

8. Always trying to be witty


via GIPHY


Your wit might be one of the qualities that attracted your partner to you, but always being sarcastic or witty might have the inverse impact. If you do not choose your words and blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind then, it might be something that would hurt your partner. Being sweet, gentle, and polite would help maintain a good equation with your partner.

You might do these things out of concern or it is your innate attitude, but not reconsidering these actions would hurt your partner. Irrespective of your intentions these actions might send a different message and negate your motives. Well, the easiest solution to this is communicating and discussing the things that hurt you and your partner. This would help the mind and amend your actions to maintain a healthy relationship.

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