Why men have such a hard time saying "I love you"

Why men have such a hard time saying "I love you"

A common complaint about men is that they're not forthcoming about the way they feel, and here are the reasons why.

The 'L' word haunts everyone whose ever begun to explore the possibility of a relationship. Sure, you may be extremely attracted to someone, but how soon is too soon to tell them that you love them? Many men are hesitant to even say the word, and most don't know why.

"Love" can be a difficult word to say at the beginning of a relationship (Pixabay)
"Love" can be a difficult word to say at the beginning of a relationship (Pixabay)

There are plenty of men who are very vocal about their love for their partners, but women do feel that on the whole men tend to shy away from actually telling them that they love them. If you're a man wondering what's stopping you, or a woman wondering why your man isn't taking the first step then this list may clear things up for you:

Many men are very vocal about their feelings, but there are also many men who are not (Pixabay)
Many men are very vocal about their feelings, but there are also many men who are not (Pixabay)

1. They're too embarrassed to say it

There are many men who have no qualms about expressing their feelings for the person they love. They make sure that not a single day goes by without their partners being reminded that they love them. However, there are also plenty of men who are extremely nervous when it comes to expressing affection.

Some men are too shy to express how they feel (Pixabay)
Some men are too shy to express how they feel (Pixabay)

Not everyone who grew up with stoic parents is stoic, however. There are plenty of people who grew up around extremely affectionate people who may have rejected expressions of affection because they felt stifled or embarrassed by them. Or they may have been trained to think that it's not 'manly' to express feelings and are worried about who's watching.

Some men are too worried about what other people might think (Pixabay)
Some men are too worried about what other people might think (Pixabay)

2. They're waiting for the right time to say it

Some men believe that the right words come at the right time. They want their expression of love to their partner to be an organic, natural outcome of their relationship. They want to say "I love you" when the perfect opportunity presents itself.

Some men are waiting for the perfect opportunity (Pixabay)
Some men are waiting for the perfect opportunity (Pixabay)

While many men do eventually find the right time to express themselves, there are some men who never do. The right time may have come and gone, or maybe they never worked up the courage to say it. Whatever you believe, try to set a deadline for yourself so that you never leave your partner hanging.

Some never do work up the courage to say it, even in the perfect moment (Pixabay)
Some never do work up the courage to say it, even in the perfect moment (Pixabay)

3. They prefer to demonstrate it instead of talking about it

Actions speak louder than words. There is much truth in this saying because what we do often communicate more than our words ever can. Men who prefer to demonstrate their love for their partners often don't feel the need to explain why.

To some, their actions speak louder than their words (Pixabay)
To some, their actions speak louder than their words (Pixabay)

While the pragmatic outlook does work, there may sometimes be a hidden reason behind this mindset. You may have grown up with people who were always talking or boasting but never actually had anything to show for it, or you may have just learned to be quietly diligent, and you may feel that calling attention to that is not your place.

Some men prefer to love quietly, without calling attention to that fact (Pixabay)
Some men prefer to love quietly, without calling attention to that fact (Pixabay)

4. They're hoping you'll say it first

Saying "I love you" changes things in a relationship. When the relationship moves beyond 'like' to 'love,' there are a lot of expectations that creep into the relationship. One of these is the expectation that romantic feelings are mutually shared and reciprocated.

Saying the words often bring in expectations to a relationship (Pixabay)
Saying the words often bring in expectations to a relationship (Pixabay)

Men often want to be sure that the person they're dating loves them before they decide to open up about how they feel. If they haven't explicitly heard their partner say "I love you" yet, then they are willing to patiently wait until they hear it if this is a relationship they want to invest in.

They're waiting for you to tell them "I love you" first (Pixabay)
They're waiting for you to tell them "I love you" first (Pixabay)

5. They're worried things may not work out, just like their previous relationships

The fear of getting attached to someone too quickly is common in any relationship. The bitter feelings of being rejected from the past start to haunt the moment you decide to express yourself. They're not prepared to love someone again so wholeheartedly, and they believe that saying "I love you" may hurt them instead.

They're afraid of attachment because they've been hurt before (Pexels)
They're afraid of attachment because they've been hurt before (Pexels)

When there is a lot of pain and emotional baggage from past wounds, men may need to heal and feel unconditionally loved and accepted in their relationship before they can feel free to let their feelings show. Unfortunately, their partners may not be patient enough to deal with this, and this can end up becoming a destructive cycle.

They may need time to heal, but this can also drive a rift between them and their partner (Pexels)
They may need time to heal, but this can also drive a rift between them and their partner (Pexels)

6. They don't attach any importance to the words

Not everyone believes that the words "I love you" are crucial to sustaining a relationship. They may not have any strong positive or negative feelings about the words, and may not feel like saying them is a momentous occasion.

They may not attach any importance to the words (Pixabay)
They may not attach any importance to the words (Pixabay)

They may believe that there are other words that can adequately express their sentiments and that having to say "I love you" limits the many beautiful, creative, and meaningful ways in which they can express their love for their partner.

They feel like their feelings cannot be expressed properly in merely three words (Pexels)
They feel like their feelings cannot be expressed properly in merely three words (Pexels)

7. They just don't love you

It's not a stretch to assume that the reason why you are unable to bring yourself to tell your partner "I love you" is because you don't love them to begin with. Some men are unable to determine exactly how they feel until later on in a relationship.

Some men may like their partners but not have deep feelings for them (Pixabay)
Some men may like their partners but not have deep feelings for them (Pixabay)

Until they realize that they just don't have feelings for their partners, they may go through the motions in their relationship, leading their partner on towards unavoidable heartbreak. These men, unlike the others on this list, will never get around to saying "I love you."

When they do recognize that they don't actually love their partner, they end up breaking their heart (Pexels)
When they do recognize that they don't actually love their partner, they end up breaking their heart (Pexels)
Disclaimer : This article is for your entertainment / infotainment purposes.

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