Stuck with an over-achieving partner? It's time to stop living under their shadow

Stuck with an over-achieving partner? It's time to stop living under their shadow

Your partner loves you for what you are, and value you the most. You hold the power to make your partner understand the beauty of life and subtlety.

A relationship goes through many ups and down which teaches you and your partner the art of being each other's strongest support system. Once you are in a relationship with your partner for a long time, you discover a lot about their personality, nature, likes, and dislikes.

Relationships are very fragile (Pexels)
Relationships are very fragile (Pexels)

And while your relationship is all about accepting each other's flaws, likes, and dislikes and still loving them unconditionally, sometimes you find yourself stuck with an over-achiever partner. You feel as if their achievements are over-shadowing who you are and your dreams.

Couples have to go through a lot together (Pexels)
Couples have to go through a lot together (Pexels)

For instance, your partner may be an over-achiever when it comes to meeting his personal, professional and even fitness goals, whereas you find it difficult to go to the gym regularly for even a month. This over-achieving attitude of your partner might make you feel demotivated and feel less about yourself in the relationship.

Relationships are made of two different people with different perspectives (Pexels)
Relationships are made of two different people with different perspectives (Pexels)

If your partner makes you feel bad about their over-achieving nature, then you have got a problem to fix. We list down ways in how you can handle this sitaution and still be yourself and not lose your identity.

1. Share your perspective clearly

Always tell your partner how they make you feel (Pixabay)
Always tell your partner how they make you feel (Pixabay)

Talking always helps. Your partner might be the one who has seen a lot of success and might have cracked big contracts taking their company to another level, but it is possible that you might look at things differently.

Your partner might need to know it from you when they are crossing their limit by hurting you (Pixabay)
Your partner might need to know it from you when they are crossing their limit by hurting you (Pixabay)

For you, being ambitious might not be a thing and your job might not mean the world to. It is okay. A person who is an over-achiever might find it hard to understand this. 

Your partner loves you, therefore will understand your feelings once you tell (Pexels)
Your partner loves you, therefore will understand your feelings once you tell (Pexels)

Therefore, to make your partner understand your perception of ambition and job, you will have to make them sit and talk. You will have to tell them clearly that, for you, your job is the only way of earning money and nothing else, you can tell your partner that, you don't have the same perspective as they have about their career.

Love makes life magical and your partner is the one who makes you believe in love (Pexels)
Love makes life magical and your partner is the one who makes you believe in love (Pexels)

You might feel a little demotivated because it is possible that you have not achieved anything as big as your partner's. Sharing and talking will help your partner to understand you better, rather than keeping things to your heart.

2. Learn to accept your partner 

Acceptance is very important in a relationship (Pixabay)
Acceptance is very important in a relationship (Pixabay)

It might be hard to deal an over-achiever partner for the way they look up to their achievements. However, you need to understand the fact that your partner has always been an achiever so making them understand your point of view is equally important.

You and your partner might go through strifes, but don't give up (Pixabay)
You and your partner might go through strifes, but don't give up (Pixabay)

You will have to learn to accept your partner the way they are by not forcing them to change, because the truth is, they cannot change it. But, you can surely make them understand the fact that you are supportive of everything they are achieving in their life. One of the most important things you need to take care of is the fact that you are happy with yourself and your life.

Your partner will understand your position no matter how hard it would be for them to understand (Pexels)
Your partner will understand your position no matter how hard it would be for them to understand (Pexels)

You should be able to accept your life without comparing it with your partner because you both might have different priorities and interests. 

3. Get inspired, not demotivated

You can learn a lot from your partner who has known success for a long time (Pexels)
You can learn a lot from your partner who has known success for a long time (Pexels)

Being mediocre or average is not a bad or a shameful thing. Failure is something everyone experiences, no matter how successful they become in life. It is something that can knock your successful life anytime, therefore, it is important to understand success and failure are parallel.

Always remember that you both are in this together (Pexels)
Always remember that you both are in this together (Pexels)

If you have been that average partner in your relationship, then you can motivate and learn things from your partner who might have experienced failure at some point in time before becoming this successful.

Over-achiever partners need a little push to look at your misery sometimes (Pexels)
Over-achiever partners need a little push to look at your misery sometimes (Pexels)

Feeling sad and disheartened by your failure and seeing your partner do well, might ignite unhealthy competition between you both. Therefore, it is always necessary that you keep your mind clean and value your own talent. The best way to learn is to have an urge of learning things. Never get demotivated by your partner's success, rather get inspired and put the same effort in things you wanted to do or dreamt of.

4. Help them to prioritize their goals

You can teach your partner to look beyond work and office (Pexels)
You can teach your partner to look beyond work and office (Pexels)

Your partner loves you for what you are, and value you the most. You hold the power to make your partner understand the beauty of life and subtlety. Because your partner is an over-achiever, he/she might have issues like anxiety, or they might never feel satisfied and their priorities can be a little messed up. 

You can make your partner rest and fall in love with the beauty of life (Pexels)
You can make your partner rest and fall in love with the beauty of life (Pexels)

You can help your partner by showing them the beauty that lies beyond their four walls, contracts, and projects. You need to tell them that it is okay to strive to become successful but not okay to hamper their mental peace. The power that you have on your partner is called love. Use it wisely to make sure that they live a sorted and peaceful life.

Don't let your partner's over-achieving attitude spoil mental peace (Pexels)
Don't let your partner's over-achieving attitude spoil mental peace (Pexels)

Having an over-achieving partner is not a bad thing, but that doesn't mean that get engulfed in their shadows and do not pursue your dreams and desires. It is important for you to prioritize yourself and your life before you help your partner. Self-love and self-help will go a long way to handle such situations. 

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