Being affectionate and showing your love is a good thing in a relationship, but too much of it cannot. In most cases, it would make your partner suffocated by the loving gestures.
In the initial stages of the relationship, there is a spike of emotions and the excitement is at its peak. In this stage, you would not want to miss any opportunity to express your love for your partner and moments of intimacy. Being affectionate and showing your love is a good thing in a relationship, but too much of it can actually ruin the relationship.
Well, how much affection a partner needs to show depends on what the other person in the relationship wants. If your partner needs too much affection then it would make your relationship flourish. But, in most cases, it would make your partner feel suffocated by the over-affection and loving gestures. This can happen if your partner does not crave the same amount of affection or they are not in the mood because of stress or other reasons.
Well, if you are expressive and affectionate it is not a bad thing. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, physical touch is one of the five love languages that people use to show their affection or rather love. But, if your partner has a different love language then, this expression could overwhelm your partner also, complicating things.
In some situations, your partner might reject this expression by requesting to be left alone to hide their annoyance. It might be disrespectful and dismissive, but if they are feeling overwhelmed by the exaggerated expression of affection then it is the best solution.
Also, this air of uncertainty and tension could be cleared with simple communication and discussion that would help the two of you be on the same page and avoid conflicts. In addition, too much affection in a relationship can be a turn-off and be a red flag.
A study by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology stated that couples who are overly affectionate in the initial stages of the relationship are more likely to get divorced. Well, the excessive affection leads the partners to form unrealistic goals and with time the excitement in the relationship fades away, which makes way for real troubles. And since the expectations are already set so high, the trouble seems to crop again and again.
When reality strikes it would not match their expectations, which would cause dissatisfaction in the relationship. In addition to maintaining the overly-affectionate relationship, it could also be a way to compensate for the lack of trust or communication in a relationship. Your partner should love you for the person you are from the beginning, but if you are compensating in the relationship from the initial stages then, it is not going to last.
In a normal and healthy relationship, the honeymoon period lasts for a while and ends gradually. But, if you push this phase out of proportion then the end can seem too extreme and make you feel like your relationship is moving from one extreme to another. You might consider that your relationship has lost its excitement quickly and make an unfair judgment about your relationship.
Affection is not the only fuel to the relationship, instead, there are other elements like, honesty, communication, and trust that binds the relationship for the long-term. Well, the analysis does not mean that being affectionate would hamper the relationship. Everyone wants to feel loved by their partner, but rushing into it or imposing unusual amounts of affection on your partner would drive him/her away.
In some relationships, too much affection and love can be a glaring red-flag and sign of toxic behavior. If your partner acts this way from the start then it can be a sign of an emotionally abusive relationship. Well, abusive partners might use this manipulative technique to reel potential partners.
They give their partner excessive gifts, compliments, and physical affection and being withdrawing when they are hooked, this is called love bombing. As a result, the partner might feel that they are the reason for the shift in character and go to lengths to repair the situation. Also, they tend to neglect their needs and wants from the relationship aside and work to fulfill what the abuser wants.
You need to make attempts to gradually build intimacy and do things together, which would lead you to share good memories together. Communication is key in a relationship. Well, talking things out can clear all misunderstandings and help the two of you to be on the same page.
Having a dialogue with your partner would help you identify your love language and share your feelings as well. Before all of this, you need to be affectionate to yourself and not compensate from the start of the relationship. Do not be hard on yourself, remember nobody is perfect. To an extent, your imperfections help you to be who you are.
Loving yourself would help you love your partner genuinely and not try to mask your shortcomings. You can gradually improve intimacy by openly sharing your feelings, appreciating your partner, cuddle up to watch a movie together or give flirting a go. These are the way that would not push you out of your comfort zone, yet be effective in sustaining the relationship for the long run and keep the spark alive.
There is no set formula for a healthy relationship or a fixed time chart that a couple has to abide by. Every relationship has its own clock since every relationship is different from the other. It is not necessary that you should have butterflies in your stomach or be head over heels in the initial stages of the relationship.
Also, you having moments of affection or being mushy is also acceptable. None of this means that you will not be in love with your partner for a while. All relationships might not have an intense beginning, but it would gradually build with time and help you maintain the spark through the sands of time.