7 unacceptable double standards in a relationship

7 unacceptable double standards in a relationship

There are many double standards that can ruin your relationship and spoil a good connection. Identifying the double standards existing in the relationship would help sustaining it.

There are certain pre-set notions about heterosexual relationships and some set ground rules that have a certain gender bias. While phrases like, “men should pay” or “the man should make the first move” are common, when the same is said for the opposite gender, it becomes an issue. Striving for gender equality and avoiding exclusivity of actions to a particular gender is contrary to the norms that exist in terms of relationships.

There are certain pre-set notions about heterosexual relationships
and some set ground rules that have a certain gender bias (Pixabay)
There are certain pre-set notions about heterosexual relationships
and some set ground rules that have a certain gender bias (Pixabay)

There are many double standards that can ruin your relationship and spoil a good connection. Identifying these double standards that exist in the relationship would help move past them and establishing a reasonable dynamic. Eliminating these double standards in your relationship would help you sustain the relationship for a long-term. We all are aware of the discrepancy between the tasks that a man and woman can do but do not take action in our relationship.

Identifying the double standards would help sustain the relationship (Pexels)
Identifying the double standards would help sustain the relationship (Pexels)

Ignoring these signs would only ruin your relationship. Being complicit is equivalent to being a part of the problem and we become the cause of the problem in our relationship. Well, finding out a few probable causes that might bring tension in the relationship can help spot things that are unhealthy, toxic double standards.

Ignoring these signs would not lead you down 
the path of happily ever after (Pixabay)
Ignoring these signs would not lead you down
the path of happily ever after (Pixabay)

1. Ridiculing sartorial choices

Making fun of a man's outfit is an unrecognized double standard
that has been prevalent for a long period of time (Pexels)
Making fun of a man's outfit is an unrecognized double standard
that has been prevalent for a long period of time (Pexels)

This is an unrecognized double standard has been prevalent for ages. If the woman makes fun of the man's dressing choice it is acceptable, but if the man does the same then, it is a bone of contention. This is an unhealthy practice in a relationship since the partners are putting each other down instead of supporting each other. Additionally, this might spark emotions of resentment in the relationship.

2. Rules and restrictions about friends

There should be no restrictions set to meet a group of friends (Pexels)
There should be no restrictions set to meet a group of friends (Pexels)

This is a bit frivolous, but existent and is an unhealthy practice in a relationship. If you wish to have a happy and healthy relationship these rules and restrictions should not exist between the two of you. Being secure in a relationship is important as that can help the relationship grow and become stronger.

These restrictions are not enforced on women (Pexels)
These restrictions are not enforced on women (Pexels)

One should never create boundaries and restrict the partner from meeting their friends and family members. The rule to choose your friends, spending quality time with them should be yours and not your partner's. However, while meeting your friends is important you must understand that your partner should never be ignored in this process. If your partner is choosy about friends and puts a lot of restriction on your choices, then it is time for a serious talk with them. 

3. Exposing insecurities

Women tend to be expressive about their feelings and emotions whereas men have been conditioned to show their feelings easily. It takes time for them to express any emotions which makes them look vulnerable to bring out their deepest insecurities.

Women tend to be expressive about their feelings and emotions (Pexels)
Women tend to be expressive about their feelings and emotions (Pexels)

No matter what happens never mock your partner's insecurity in front of their friends. They share their deepest insecurities and vulnerabilities. Don't break their heart and the relationship by sharing their secrets with everyone else. How would you feel if your partner disclosed your secrets in front of your friends? Keeping those things and details private would help strengthen the connection in the relationship.

In addition, too one-sided expression, she would have the
permission to ridicule your friends and your deepest insecurities (Pexels)
In addition, too one-sided expression, she would have the
permission to ridicule your friends and your deepest insecurities (Pexels)

4. Being demanding and controlling in a relationship

Demanding and controlling in a relationship can make a partner feel trapped and frustrate them. Well, it is considered normal for a woman to be demanding and controlling in a relationship, but if a guy expresses his wishes or demand something or a change then it marks the end of the relationship.

All demands made by women are binding (Pexels)
All demands made by women are binding (Pexels)

In addition, the girls wish are set in binding and obeying those wishes are more of a compulsion rather than an option. In a healthy relationship, you need to first make reasonable demands and comply if they are necessary.

Men are perceived as clingy and possessive
Men are perceived as clingy and possessive

5. Having friends of the opposite gender

This is not acceptable in a relationship since it is locking in a partner to the wishes of the other and not allowing the other to live their life. Each partner should be able to do what they want and when they want considering their relationship status.

Men are restricted from having friends of the opposite gender (Pexels)
Men are restricted from having friends of the opposite gender (Pexels)

In this situation, the woman gets to have innumerable friends of the opposite gender, but if the man has friends of the opposite gender then it is unacceptable in a relationship. This shows the lack of trust in the relationship, which could be sorted out if you communicate and have mutual dialogue. This would help set boundaries in the relationship and avoid conflicts.

The woman gets to have innumerable friends of the opposite gender (Pixabay)
The woman gets to have innumerable friends of the opposite gender (Pixabay)

6. Things that are acceptable in a relationship

Women are allowed to accept drinks from other men while in a relationship (Pexels)
Women are allowed to accept drinks from other men while in a relationship (Pexels)

For some strange reasons, there are certain actions that are a certain set of things that only women are allowed to do but is restricted for men. For instance, a woman can accept drinks from a man, but the inverse is forbidden in a relationship. The pretext for this restriction is that it sends a message of availability, but the one-sided applicability puts the theory into question.

7. Being jealous in the relationship

A woman being jealous in the relationship is considered normal and ridiculed to lengths on the internet and it is unusual to imagine a man in the frame. There are memes that show girls doing crazy things making their jealousy evident.


via GIPHY


In addition to being unmanly, men are not allowed to be jealous in a relationship, since it depicts that man is possessive and clingy. The jealousy attribute is associated with women and is considered funny and acceptable, but it is bizarre for a man to be jealous.


via GIPHY


These are a few instances, which are paradoxical since only one partner is allowed to do certain things and it is restricted to the other. Double standards are never okay for a functional and happy relationship.

There are certain boundaries that need to be set that would permit each partner to live their respective lives and be a part of a long-term relationship. This might change your mindset about things and establish a solid dynamic.

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