Instead of hating your ex, there are some reasons why you should be thanking your ex since this learning experience would help you be a better person in the next relationship.
There is a finite span to a relationship unless you take the plunge and tie the knot with the right one. Breaking up with your partner can be hard and emotionally daunting because of the emotional investment in the relationship. It hurts since you invested your time, feelings, and a part of yourself and it has come crashing down. We tend to regard failure in any aspect of life as a setback rather than a learning experience.
Especially in a relationship, you should not let one failure or rather bad experience act as an anchor to drag you down. The question that you need to ask yourself is: “What can I learn from this failed relationship?”
If you do not recognize the mistake you have made in the relationship and pawn off the blame on your ex then, you are bound to suffer the same consequences from the relationship by making the same mistakes in the new relationship.
The easiest option to deal with a break-up is hating your ex-partner and move on to another relationship. But, there are some reasons why you should be thanking your ex since this learning experience would help you be a better person in the next relationship. So, here are the reasons why you should be thanking your ex instead of hating them.
As humans, we are bound to make mistakes and these shortcomings might lead to an end to a relationship. Some people ruminate over the idea of losing a partner because of a bad situation, but your actions in this situation can prove to be a learning experience. There might a ton of question going through your mind like, “what if I reacted better?” “What if I was more supportive?” or “What if I did make a big deal out of small things?” Thinking of these things and using the benefit of hindsight to figure the areas you screwed up would help make you a better person.
There would definitely be happy and good moments in a relationship that the two of you would cherish. After a breakup you these memories would tend to fizzle out at the moment, but attempting to forget these moments would not be a good move. In emotionally bad moments the negative or rather the bad moments overshadow the good, but understanding what went right in a relationship is equally important.
It is hard to know what you want from the relationship, but the flashbacks of the best moments that the two of you shared is pointing in that direction. This is one of the instances how previous relationships can turn in to a learning experience. It is wise to move on, but carrying those words of wisdom with your would help you in the long-run.
You might date multiple people before finding the right one for you. These experiences would help you find out what qualities you are looking for in a partner and the things that annoy you in a relationship. You would be able to assess the things that your new partner might do, which would annoy you. Recognizing them and discussing them would help in to make things clear in the beginning and avoid conflicts in the future. In addition to finding out what you want from a relationship, you would know what you do not want from a relationship as well.
The learning process does not begin after the relationship, but being in a relationship with someone for a significant duration of time would change you as a person. Relationships are like a rollercoaster and the ups and downs of the relationship you learn how to handle yourself and how to handle other people.
The relationship would help you push bounds and adopt qualities that transform you into a better person. For instance, you might be emotionally reserved and would not want to talk about things that upset you, but the relationship might have made you emotionally vulnerable and expressive. Well, treating your previous relationships as stepping stones rather than setbacks would help extract maximum benefit from the relationship.
Initially, you might hate or resent your partner, but after you move on, you would understand the opportunity to find someone new and better suited for you. There are instances where either both or one of the partners refuse to break-up. And two people who shouldn’t be staying together are in a relationship. So, thank your exes for leaving you and giving you the opportunity to find someone better. Initially, you might hate or resent your partner, but after you move on, you would understand the opportunity to find someone new and better suited for you.
Depending on the nature of the relationship you learn skills that are necessary for other relationships as well. Being supportive, emotional, understanding, and communicative are a few of the elements that are important to sustain the relationship. There would be certain mistakes you would have made in the previous relationships. But, recognizing these aspects about yourself would transform you into a better person.
Post the relationship you would generally be shattered and emotionally at a low point. But, after those lonely nights, and looking at their new love, you picked yourself up and carried on. Well, you chose to not let it consume you and picked what mattered more. The attempts to gather yourself and fix who you never were would not be possible if not for the relationship.
Nobody is perfect and you would have made a few mistakes and might not have been your best version in the relationship. Well, your ex-partner stuck around and chose to be around you and loved you. He/She showed you that you do not have to be perfect, but whole in your life.
Well, you probably were not the best version of yourself in the relationship and made a few mistakes. But, your partner highlighted these mistakes during and after the relationship, which served as a benchmark for other relationship. Learning from these mistakes might lead to a better relationship in the future
Well, this is a learning that you would acquire from the relationship. Your partner or you might have made mistakes, but the two of you worked passed the issues. Forgiving your partner, if not entirely, but still it is a quality that would help in the future relationships. It would show you that time does not heal everything, but working past these issues does.
A relationship can take any turn, but if it takes the break up route then you should be thanking your ex-partner rather than hating on her. Well, there were unsolvable problems and other such unfixable situations that led to the splitting of the relationship.
Well, these are just a few things that your previous relationship would teach or provide you. Not all relationships are meant to have the fairytale ending, but the broken relationships can leave you with a good perspective for future relationships, which would help you discover things about yourself and be on the lookout for in future partners.