Planning to start a family? Ask these questions to yourself and your partner before having kids

Planning to start a family? Ask these questions to yourself and your partner before having kids

When you are making the decision to have children, it is vital to discuss where you stand, and how ready you and your partner are to put the needs of a child ahead of yours.

Having a child with your partner is a decision that requires a lot of thinking, analyzing, reflecting and communicating with each other. A lot of couples jump on the idea pretty hastily, giving little to no thought towards the decision. Many couples who have difficulties in their relationship feel like having children will help resolve a lot of issues, but that is not the case. Some couples jump into the dream of having a family too soon and find themselves overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of responsibilities.

When you are making the decision to have children, it is vital to discuss where the both of you stand, and how willing the two of you are to put the needs of another human being ahead of yours. Here are some really important questions you should ask yourself and your partner before you decide to have kids:

1. Why do you want kids?

You need to figure out where you personally stand before you make a decision to have children (Pixabay)
You need to figure out where you personally stand before you make a decision to have children (Pixabay)

Think about why you personally want children. Are you making this decision based on how you personally feel about having kids? Or are you succumbing to the pressure of the people around you who are asking you when you are going to have children? You need to figure out where you personally stand before you make a decision to have children.

2. Are you and your partner ready?

It's a decision that needs to involve both parties involved in the relationship (Pixabay)
It's a decision that needs to involve both parties involved in the relationship (Pixabay)

Okay, so you might be ready. But does that sentiment hold true for your boyfriend as well? Both of you need to be ready to have children. It's a decision that needs to involve both parties involved in the relationship. You have to discuss this with your partner and make sure that he is equally ready to have children. 

3. Are you sure of your relationship?

You need to be certain of your relationship before having kids  (Pexels)
You need to be certain of your relationship before having kids  (Pexels)

Welcoming a child with a partner is exciting, but you have to examine the status of your relationship before you have children together. Are the two of you heading towards the same shared future? Are you thinking of getting married eventually? Have you agreed to be life partners? You need to be certain of your relationship before having kids because your partner's support is important when it comes to raising a child. 

4. Are you financially ready for children? 

You need to have a solid financial plan set in place before you jump to the idea of having children (Pixabay)
You need to have a solid financial plan set in place before you jump to the idea of having children (Pixabay)

Raising children in today's time is expensive. Right from the time they are conceived. You have to know where you and your partner financially stand when it comes to having children. You need to have a solid financial plan set in place before you jump to the idea of having children. 

5. Have you discussed long-term goals with your partner? 

You have to discuss your long-term plans with your partner before you both have children (Pixabay)
You have to discuss your long-term plans with your partner before you both have children (Pixabay)

Many people feel like they miss out on a lot of opportunities when they have kids. Do you plan on going to college? Or do you have a career that is going to take you away from your current place of residence? You have to discuss your long-term plans with your partner before you both have children. 

6. What does this mean for your job? 

Work out how to handle a post-baby work life with your partner before you make that decision (Pixabay)
Work out how to handle a post-baby work life with your partner before you make that decision (Pixabay)

Holding down a job while pregnant is easy. But the subject of maternity leave is something that a lot of businesses are very willing to avoid. This is something you and your partner need to discuss. What if your job has a very limited maternity leave? Can your partner apply for paternity leave? Work out how to handle a post-baby work life with your partner before you make that decision. 

7. Are you and your partner self-sufficient?

If either you or your partner is dependent on a third party for guidance, that shows you aren't ready for children (Pixabay)
If either you or your partner is dependent on a third party for guidance, that shows you aren't ready for children (Pixabay)

Self-sufficiency is a key factor in being ready for kids. Consider your housing situation. Do you have enough space for a child? Will you need a mode of transport? If either you or your partner is dependent on a third party for guidance, that shows you aren't ready for children. 

8. Is it the right age for you to have kids? 

You have to consider your age as a factor because you need to be mentally mature and ready for children (Pixabay)
You have to consider your age as a factor because you need to be mentally mature and ready for children (Pixabay)

A study conducted by Ohio State University found that people who have children at a very young age are more likely to face depression at a later stage because of education and job instability. You have to consider your age as a factor because you need to be mentally mature and ready for children. 

9. Are you and your partner both responsible?

Both you as well as your partner need to be certain about stepping up to the plate if you have decided to have kids (Pixabay)
Both you as well as your partner need to be certain about stepping up to the plate if you have decided to have kids (Pixabay)

Drug habits, alcoholism, disorganized homes are not good elements for child-rearing. You and your partner need to be present for the upbringing of the child. This means forgoing a lot of bad habits. Both you as well as your partner need to be certain about stepping up to the plate if you have decided to have kids. 

10. Do the both of you have a good support system?

Having a support system around your home will make having a child easier (Pixabay)
Having a support system around your home will make having a child easier (Pixabay)

The truth about raising children is that you need to have a strong community backing you. Having a support system around your home will make having a child easier. If you and your partner have a good support system, then raising a child will be made a lot easier. 

11. How will you share the responsibilities of the child?

The responsibility of raising a child falls on both parents involved (Pixabay)
The responsibility of raising a child falls on both parents involved (Pixabay)

Children require a lot of care. The responsibility of raising a child falls on both parents involved. You and your partner need to discuss how to go about when it comes to sharing responsibilities behind raising a child. It's imperative to get this out of the way before the arrival of the child because the responsibility of raising a child doe not fall on the mother alone. 

12. Will you be ready to let your intimacy take a back seat?

Will you be ready to give up on the best pleasure in life? (Pixabay)
Will you be ready to give up on the best pleasure in life? (Pixabay)

If you have an active sex life with your partner, be ready for sex becoming a rarity in your life once you have kids. This can be a big sacrifice for a lot of couples. Will you be ready to give up on the best pleasure in life? It's something you will have to discuss with your partner. 

13. Are you ready to watch your social life disappear? 

(Pixabay)
(Pixabay)

Kids are going to eat away at your social life. They require round-the-clock care. Having an active social life may come down to a slow pace. Unless you have a nanny to care for your child, you can say goodbye to your friends. Are you willing to give up on that? 

14. Are you ready to sacrifice a lot of things? 

You'll even find it hard to take care of yourself (Pixabay)
You'll even find it hard to take care of yourself (Pixabay)

Saying goodbye to your friends can be easily done. But that's not the only thing you will sacrifice when you have kids. You will have long, sleepless nights, frustrating days and challenging weeks. You'll even find it hard to take care of yourself. Are you ready for that sacrifice? 

15. Are you ready for any unexpected challenges that your child might bring? 

Are you prepared for any challenges in the future? (Pixabay)
Are you prepared for any challenges in the future? (Pixabay)

Despite the advances in medical science, it is not uncommon to face an anomaly during pregnancy. These challenges can be difficult to overcome, so you have to discuss the possibility with your partner. Will you be ready to take on the challenge? That is something you need to discuss with your partner. 

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