Single dad argues his life is harder than any single mother — and women aren't disagreeing

When society imagines a single parent, it almost reflexively imagines a mother. As a result, single fathers often find themselves fighting not just for their children, but for acceptance and basic respect. One TikTok user, @imthenewwho, has become the face of this challenge, sharing how his attempts to be a good dad are overshadowed by suspicion and disbelief.

He exclusively says he is not here to create a debate between single moms and dads. From the very beginning, his encounters with schools were tinged with doubt. “These three women came out and said, ‘Where is her mother?’ First question. They didn't ask anything else. ‘Where's her mother?’” he recalled. The implication was stereotypical: that for them, a single father was an anomaly. Even after he explained that the mother was not present and provided all required documents, he heard, “I'm not used to a man coming to register kids for school.”

This skepticism wasn’t confined to the administrative side. His daughter, excited about her first day, was quickly confronted by her peers’ curiosity. “Ask my daughter about her first day of school. She told me, ‘Oh, it was fun... I got me some friends. They kept on asking me, ‘Where’s my mom at?’” The repetition of these questions signaled to both father and child that their family arrangement was seen as unusual, perhaps even suspect.

Even routine procedures became tests of legitimacy. Despite submitting birth certificates, IDs, and all necessary forms during registration, he was sent on what felt like a wild goose chase for “missing” requirements. He recounted being directed to another office for a physical his child didn’t need, only to have his daughter subjected to public, detailed questioning by a staff member: “It’s a woman bent down in my daughter's face, face to face...constantly asking my daughter, ‘What is your name? What is your last name? What is your whole name? How old are you? What grade are you?’ Like I just kidnapped this girl or something.”

Outside of school, too, the scrutiny persisted. When his son came home from school, he was asked by staff to choose whether he’d rather live with his mom or dad, a question that seemed to presuppose there was something odd about their home. The father said, “People don't understand that you can see what they believe about you from the way they treat you. I can see the bias. I can see the negative opinions in your head, from your actions towards me.”

Even their home life was not immune from prying eyes and swirling suspicions. The father described how people questioned everything from his housekeeping to his sexuality, trying to invent a hidden flaw.  "The rooms are organized... He likes men. It makes sense, because he's a single father. He's not out here chasing these women. His house is clean, his kids are organized. This man must be on the down low. Of course!’” It’s a relentless parade of doubt and questioning, simply because he is a father, along with his children. 

Parents everywhere showed support to this TikTok dad, as they unanimously agreed to his argument that life is indeed harder for a single father. When one user, @millymckissack said, "I would say as a single mother it is harder to be a single father because they don’t have the benefits or experience", another added, "You are absolutely correct it’s harder on men." A third user, @jacquisedashay, shared, "I 100% agree I have a friend that is a single dad. I told him it’s crazy how he has to jump through hoops for his son."

For more videos like this, you can follow @imthenewwho on TikTok.