A 4-year-old taught her mom 'manners' as polite parenting backfired: 'Practice what you preach'
A mom recently witnessed her daughter’s good manners take an unexpected turn, right back at her. Brenda Iseghoede, from the U.K., has always taught her 4-year-old daughter, Rayna, to be polite and use phrases like 'please' and 'thank you.' Rayna clearly picked up on these lessons, as seen in a moment caught on video and shared to her TikTok account @raynaandaidensworld.
“I remind her all the time that we are a polite family and we need to consider others' feelings while we speak to them,” Iseghoede told Newsweek. She was filming an unboxing video of her son’s birthday gifts when something funny happened. The video ended up capturing a sweet moment where her daughter, Rayna, showed just how seriously she takes being polite. In the video, Iseghoede says, “Rayna, stand up", to which the little girl responds, “If you say please.” Her mom, then confused, goes on to ask, “What?” Rayna repeats, “Please.” She then goes on to add, “You have to say, ‘Please, Rayna, can you stand up?’ We’re a polite family, remember?”
Her mom laughs and says, “Please stand up,” and then Rayna gets up. "She was clearly reminding me to set a good example,” Iseghoede said. The video, posted with the caption “POV: good parenting comes back to bite you in the behind,” went viral and has already gained close to 940k views on TikTok alone. It also got several heartwarming reactions from viewers, many of whom praised Rayna’s confidence and sense of values. One user, @tiktokerkeepa, applauded the little girl’s boldness and said, “That’s right, queen. Train your mother in the way of the Lord so that when she’s old, she will not depart from it.”
Others echoed similar sentiments. “She said, ‘Practice what you preach,’” said @mumtothesun, while @Royal Fabricz couldn’t help but point out Rayna’s strong presence: “She’s very stern. See her eyes, she learned it from you.” @Kirsty admired the parenting that had clearly shaped Rayna’s character. “You’ve taught her not to give up on her morals and values, no matter how important the person is that she is speaking to. You’ve taught her to be strong.” Another user, @Ivie , defending Rayna’s assertiveness, said, “The child isn’t rude, she simply made an observation and pointed it out to her mum. She could do this because she’s been listening to her mum’s lessons. If you ask me, she’s growing up well.”
Not everyone responded positively, but Iseghoede stood by her daughter’s behavior. “I was super proud; that meant that she was learning from me,” she said. “Some people may have seen it as her questioning my authority, but I don't think that was wrong. She is mirroring a good character from her mum and dad, and I will always applaud that," the mom clarified. Experts say that Rayna’s reaction is a textbook example of how children learn through observational learning. This concept, rooted in social learning theory, as pointed out in research by National Library Of Medicine highlights how children absorb behavior by watching and copying the adults around them, especially caregivers. Research emphasizes that observational learning is one of the most powerful ways young children acquire manners, language, and emotional regulation. It’s not just about mimicking actions like saying “please” or “thank you.”