First-time mom in mid 30s shares about the challenges of pregnancy she never imagined facing
Becoming a mother for the first time at 35 can bring immense joy, but along with it comes a flood of unspoken fears. For many women, including one first-time mom, mariefeandjakesnow, who also goes by the same handle @mariefeandjakesnow on TikTok, the journey to motherhood in their mid-30s is anything but picture-perfect. She had a smooth, complication-free pregnancy and expected a normal delivery. But after 20 hours of labor and no progress, an emergency C-section became necessary.
“In the end, I was more focused on my son and me surviving than on having the perfect ‘natural’ birth experience,” she wrote on her TikTok. She also chose pain relief during labor. After hours of contractions, she opted for an epidural, but what followed was unexpected — a difficult start to breastfeeding. Her milk production was slow, adding pressure during recovery. A systematic review from Ethiopia found only ~40% of C‑section births began breastfeeding in the first hour, compared with ~72% after vaginal birth. Mothers who had C‑sections had a 79% lower likelihood of early initiation.
She stayed in the hospital for seven days, longer than the usual three to five, to have space and time to bond as a new family. Her husband supported her through labor and even assisted the midwife. But at night, when he had to leave due to hospital rules, she was left alone, overwhelmed. She had worried about the “baby blues” or emotional crash, but instead felt a wave of love. “I felt more love than I ever imagined,” she wrote. Her story resonated with many women entering motherhood in their 30s.
Women in the comment section took it upon themselves to make her feel better, one @ChelseaWhite, 34, who is pregnant after years of infertility, wrote, "I'm 34 and pregnant with my first baby after years of infertility. If I go full term, I will be 35 when she's born (she possibly will come early due to placenta previa), but I'm not ashamed one bit of having her in my mid-30s." Another mother-to-be, @SM, 35, is four months along. “35 and 4 months pregnant with my first. Anxious and scared, but hoping everything goes smoothly,” she wrote. Others who’ve been there offer support. One mother, who gave birth at 35 in Germany, said having only her husband by her side created a strong bond. “Fourteen years later, our family is still our greatest treasure. Enjoy each minute and never compare yourself to anyone,” @angieberry190 said.
@mariefeandjakesnow I’m a first-time mom at 35 and had so many worries about my birth 🥹 Please tell me I’m not alone in this. 1. …that breastfeeding was harder and more painful than I ever imagined. My milk production in the beginning wasn’t great, and it put a lot of pressure on me. Some say it’s because I ended up having a C-section. 2. I had a perfect pregnancy, so I never thought I’d end up having an emergency C-section after my normal labor failed. 3. I took an epidural during my 20-hour labour because I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. 4. I stayed in the hospital for 7 days instead of the usual 3–5, just so we could stay in our bubble and have time for just the three of us. 5. My husband helped my midwife during the entire labour and saw me in my most vulnerable moments. 6. In the end, I was more focused on my son and me surviving than on having the perfect ‘natural’ birth experience 7. I cried the first two nights in the hospital when my husband had to leave. I was scared I wouldn’t be enough on my own. 8. I was afraid I’d get the baby blues and feel an instant emotional crash when he was born—but instead, I felt more love than I ever imagined possible. Follow @mariefeandjakesnow to share our journey as new parents 💛 #motherhood #pregnanttiktok #birth #mama ♬ original sound - mariefeandjakesnow
Her story is part of a growing trend. More women are becoming first-time moms in their 30s, and they’re doing just fine. In the U.S., more than half of the babies born in 2023 were to mothers aged 30 and above. One report suggests that women who give birth at 35 often get more regular check-ups during pregnancy and, in many cases, have better outcomes than younger mothers. So while the label "advanced maternal age" may sound scary, for many, it simply means starting motherhood at the right time for them, emotionally, mentally, and physically ready.
You can follow @mariefeandjakesnow on TikTok for more parenting videos.