Psychologist questions the way people distinguish between green flags and red flags in relationships

Compatibility between two people can't be defined by a single standard as every couple shares a different dynamic. Hence things that may not be attractive for one person, may be considered agreeable by someone else. While green flags are indicators of a couple having a healthy relationship, red flags are considered toxic and unhealthy. While jealousy, lying and a partner's inability to consider the other person's wants and needs are clear red flags, there are times when individuals mistake green flags as red flags.

Clinical psychologist and mental health advocate, Dr. Kyle Osbourne made a couple of TikTok videos to help people identify these green flags in a relationship from red flags. On his TikTok page @drkyleo, his first video addressing this topic revolved around how many people think a boring relationship indicates that something is not right between the couple. "This is specifically for people who are used to chaotic and unpredictable environments," Dr. Osbourne mentioned. "When you are so used to the ups and downs, you tend to find comfort in chaos." He elaborates that chaos often gets mistaken for love and passion for these individuals.

"Before you immediately put up your walls to escape the relationship when you feel it's 'boring', ask yourself: Is the relationship really boring or is it healthy but I am not used to it?" he concluded. Dr. Osbourne's take on getting bored in a relationship provided viewers with some food for thought. @aronarya wrote, "If you fall in love with their hearts in harmony with loving yourself. Boredom is just the highlight of our one soul to shine. " @tauntieb shared, "When I first met my husband I broke up with him because of this. I’m so lucky to have him now. It’s anything but boring."

In the second video, Dr. Osbourne mentions the other green flag that gets mistaken as a red flag in a relationship. "This is specifically for anxious preoccupied attachments who although are looking for a sense of security and safety, tend to behave in a manner that pushes their partner away." He also comments on how these people often test their partners by distancing themselves and expecting them to chase them for the sake of maintaining the relationship.

This leads to misunderstandings between the couple and the anxious one starts thinking that their partner is uninterested in the relationship. "So before you immediately jump to conclusion and escape the relationship when they don't chase after you, ask yourself: Is it that they don't care or is it that they are willing to give me the space I asked for instead of overstepping boundaries," Dr. Osbourne adds. Many people in the TikTok community could relate to what Dr. Osbourne explained in his video.

@maryjanealee commented, "He thinks I don’t care but he doesn’t get that I want him to have space to understand his own feelings so he knows how to communicate them better." @demonsnapdragon quipped, "If they don’t come towards me I’m broken. Giving space is still possible when he explains that is what he is doing. But I need to hear it." @rachwashere shared, "This is something I still subconsciously do. I really needed to hear this."

Follow @drkyleo on TikTok for more videos on mental health awareness.