When yelling fails, a parenting expert has an unusual trick to soothe your child’s tantrums instantly

Tantrums in children are a normal part of their development. They are often characterized by sudden outbursts of crying, yelling, and other disruptive behaviors. It is certainly a challenge for parents to deal with, but yelling back at them to calm the kids down is a popular but futile approach to soothing their tantrums. A parenting expert has shared a brilliant brain hack that soothes kids’ tantrums without the need to yell at children. Jon Fogel, who goes by @wholeparent on TikTok, encouraged parents to sing to their children when dealing with tantrums as it rewires them to actively listen. 

Fogel pitched the parenting hack as a “transcendent” approach that guaranteed attention from children throwing tantrums. To begin, he picked the brains of parents, asking them why they even “choose to raise their voice with their kids.” He explained that this is mainly done to demand the kids’ attention and to “cut through the noise” of their loud tantrums. Taking a scientific route, Fogel broke down what actually happens when parents yell. “The problem is that when you yell at your kids, you actually send their brain further into dysregulation…you make the tantrum worse,” the creator said. 

The only thing parents may get out of yelling is to get their kids’ attention, but ultimately, they do not listen or act on what they are told to do. However, the parenting expert and author recommended an alternative way to communicate with children that easily cuts through all of the noise and simultaneously calms their nervous system. “It is just to sing whatever it is that you are trying to say, to pitch your voice into melodic tones and just sing it,” he added. Fogel then demonstrated a few common prompts, like asking kids to put their shoes on or get in the car seat in a melodic tone. “Music is one of the few things that are processed by the limbic system, the emotional part of the brain, and the prefrontal cortex simultaneously.”

Therefore, singing helps children to hear their parents amidst the chaos of tantrums and even improves their mood. Fogel confidently stated that singing is “better” than yelling, and parents should just try it out and see the impact. “And honestly, it will put a smile on your face because it’s so ridiculous,” Fogel concluded. In the caption, he joked that his three-year-old stopped playing to get his shoes on while Fogel was editing the video. The post was liked by 10,000 viewers, and several comments discussed the parenting hack with a range of insights. 

One person (@crazyjenna1) shared, “I work with kids, I never yell. I sing a lot and dance, and be silly! Works every time!” A fellow parent (@this_pnw_life) admitted, “Emotional dysregulation is why I yell. Yes, I want him to listen, but when I get overwhelmed, I sometimes yell. I’m working on it. This is a good tip.” Another mom (@doomsie_k) suggested, “Whispering can also help. They’ll have to quiet down in order to hear you. Oftentimes, they’ll be curious enough to stop being loud.” According to the Mayo Clinic, a child's self-control should improve by age 3, showing fewer tantrums and better self-regulation. However, if a child’s tantrums worsen with age, it is advised to seek professional help. 

You can follow @wholeparent on TikTok for more videos.