Woman lists the 4 things she 'wouldn't let her boyfriend do' and it hits home for many

You adore your partner, or your spouse, for the person they truly are; there aren't any restrictions, and the love you feel isn't bound by any obligations. Now, remember, unlike family, you get to choose your partner, and that, perhaps, explains why people have some non-negotiables that they can't do without. While many prioritize good looks, financial stability, and the ability to make grand gestures, others seek only loyalty and companionship from their partners. Similarly, Chloe Van Berkel, who goes by @chloevanberkel on TikTok, too, has some deal-breakers that are a strict no for her in a relationship.

In a video, she shared 4 things that she "wouldn't let her boyfriend do," sparking a wave of mixed reactions online. "If my boyfriend had super inappropriate, vulgar, or racist humor, I wouldn't stand for that," she said, talking about how people often overlook their partners cracking indecent jokes around them. Berkel then continued by saying that although she can occasionally pass slightly inappropriate humor without any reaction, she definitely would not tolerate it all the time.

"If your sense of humor is like being racist or being insanely and immensely offensive, then it's just not funny to me, not somebody I would like to be with," Berkel added. Moving further, she shared the second big red flag that she would never overlook, that is, a controlling partner. "I just don't think that my boyfriend should ever have any sort of control over what I do," Berkel said, explaining the difference between being controlling and setting up boundaries. 

Next, the woman talked about how she wouldn't accept her boyfriend being nice to someone mean to her. She said, "If you are actively choosing people who have hurt me or have disrespected me, then in a way you are disrespecting me, and I am just not okay with that." Moreover, Berkel revealed that she isn't fine with her boyfriend having a girl best friend, as she would want him to be closest to her, other than, of course, his family. "If there is someone who comes before me, then I would politely want to kind of opt out of it," she added.

Meanwhile, Berkel's dating advice received overwhelming love on the internet. While many appreciated her for highlighting the importance of setting boundaries in romantic relationships, others called her out for being illogical. For instance, @patriotsnation6 said, "She starts off saying, 'What wouldn't I let my boyfriend do? Then she goes on to say what she wouldn't 'let' her boyfriend tell her to do. The female logic is truly insane." Meanwhile, @normalgirlstudios commented, "This just made me respect you so much, especially #1. I feel like a lot of people let their partner be disrespectful, and it’s not cool for real. 

Another user, who goes by @derek on TikTok, shared, "I don't know why everyone is so pressed; this seems like a perfectly reasonable list. There’s a difference between being controlling and having boundaries." @malile praised the woman and said, "Right, I always say dark humor is cool and all until it becomes oppressive and raunchy." Likewise, @soph wrote, "I agree with everything! All the insecure men in the comments have me dying." On the other hand, @noelladavis shared, "All of these things are like basic and normal standards for a relationship. The men in the comments are weeding themselves out big time."

You can follow Chloe Van Berkel (@chloevanberkel) on TikTok for more relationship-related content.