A new study just found out parents do have a 'favorite' child — and we totally see why
A new study has finally answered the timeless question, “Do parents have a favorite kid?” Any person growing up with a sibling would know what all the fuss is about. Universally, parents claim they do not have a favorite and hold every child to equal affinity. However, a meta-analysis of 30 previous studies conducted over 20,000 participants suggested otherwise. The study that was published in the journal Psychological Bulletin indicated that parents tend to favor one type of child over another for several factors.
Lead researcher Alexander Jensen of Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life explained his hypothesis on the subject. He stated that while it has been previously suggested that mothers favor daughters and fathers favor sons, it is way complicated than that. “A couple of studies from the past suggested that mothers favor daughters and fathers favor sons. So, I was very surprised that both mothers and fathers favored daughters,” Jensen told Newsweek.
However, favoritism is determined by factors like birth order, temperament, personality, and gender. Daughters who tend to be more agreeable, conscientious, and well-organized, among others, are projected to be more likely to be the favorite child, but typically the younger ones end up getting favorable treatment, per the source. “For decades, researchers have known that differential treatment from parents can have lasting consequences for children. This study helps us understand which children are more likely to be on the receiving end of favoritism, which can be both positive and negative,” Jensen told the American Psychological Association (APA).
Parents likely express their favoritism towards a particular child through five different ways: positive and negative interactions, resource allocation, and control. Children reportedly do not observe favoritism, while the study also does not explain why parents favor “certain children.” “However, it does highlight potential areas where parents may need to be more mindful of their interactions with their children,” Jensen said. Like any other relationship, some parents are naturally inclined towards a child or may have a different connection with them than their other kids. It does not, although, indicate favoritism, per BYU.
Highlighting the motive behind the study, the lead researcher implied that it must help parents to be mindful and aware of their favoritism behaviors and allow them to check themselves from a different perspective. “We’re not suggesting parents feel guilty; instead, parents can look at this research and use it as encouragement to look at places where they can improve, without going to extremes.” In the long run, the ideal way to forge strong parent-child relationships is by spending more time and doing things together. Additionally, it was reported that children with less favored treatment tend to have poorer mental health and strained relationships with their families. TODAY (@TODAY) also confirmed the study with a video on YouTube.
Speaking from his personal experience, Jensen said that he is the youngest in the family, which meant, he always had less freedom than his older siblings growing up. “I have this distinct memory of when I was six or seven; I had to go to bed earlier than all my siblings. It always made me so mad,” the researcher said. There are always two sides to every story, and here, the onus is on parents to make every child feel seen and equally loved.