This mom calmly responds to toddler’s red marker disaster — but fellow parents aren’t having it

Toddlers are naturally curious creatures, with big imaginations and absolutely no sense of what not to draw on. But to reprimand them or not is the question. Most mothers would probably panic, maybe yell, but when Grace Kaage walked into that exact situation, she didn’t lose it. Instead, she held out her hand. And her son, Christian, grinning ear to ear, took it and said, “I’ll show you around.”

And the little one couldn't be prouder of what he had done. It was a full red-ink tour of the house, scribbles across white sofas, red streaks on the wooden table, even his sister’s toy bore the mark of the pen. What could’ve spiraled into a meltdown instead went on to become a lesson in patience and calm parenting.

Grace Kaage is an architect who occasionally posts snippets of family life on Instagram as @gracekaage. She uploaded the video with a caption that struck the perfect note between exasperation and humor: “I may never recover. Of all colors,  red. RED!?Tackling this today as a family after ordering a year’s worth of cleaning supplies. This will be a tough one, even for me. Send prayers (and cleaning hacks), please. ”

The video begins with an overlay that reads,  “I colored.” Grace gently asks where, and Christian, clearly excited, takes her by the hand and proudly shows off his handiwork. All through this, Grace doesn’t raise her voice once. She asks if he was supposed to draw there. “No,” he replies. His sister is visibly upset about her toy, but their mom calmly reassures her that it can be fixed.

Then she asks Christian if he’s sorry, and without missing a beat, he says, cheekily, “I’m not.” But Grace holds steady. She asks again, “Where do we color?” Christian answers, “Only in a book.” She praises him for getting it right, and then lets him know he’ll need to spend a little time in timeout.  While many praised Grace Kaage’s composure, others raised eyebrows over what the moment might teach young Christian in the long run. One commenter, @ellie_gonsalves, summed up what several viewers seemed to feel and said,  “Christian does not care and he’s gonna do it again tomorrow.” His cheeky lack of remorse, after having redecorated the house in red, had many wondering if the calm parenting would actually stick, or just be seen as a free pass.

Another, @amandarelates, who identified herself as a behavior specialist, said,  “Respectfully, coming from a behavior specialist, recording him and making a big show of it is actually teaching him that he will get attention from doing things he is 'not supposed to.’" Some viewers, like @chaitasichitaliaa, expressed sympathy not for Christian, but for his sister, whose toy was among the casualties. “I feel bad for the kid whose toy he destroyed, and he clearly will do that again 'cause he is not sorry.” Then there were the generational takes, like @jkwelty, who joked, “If I had done this in 1965, I wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week!”

For more videos like this, you can follow @gracekaage on Instagram.