Toddler mom explains her irrational fear of dying on her baby — turns out, she’s not alone at all

Being a mom to a toddler is often portrayed as a journey filled with joy, love,  precious moments, sunshine and rainbows. But the reality is much more complex. Alongside the beautiful moments, the new moms also have to battle the storms, the downpours, the moments of uncertainty and struggle. TikTok mom Sami Parker, who goes by @sunburntsami, recently opened up about something many mothers face - the dark and intrusive thoughts that have them prepared for the worst. 

In a video holding her two-year-old toddler, Sami shared a chilling worry that creeps into her mind more often than she’d like, stating, “If I died in this house, it might be hours before anyone found out.” She also mentioned how it is not a passing thought but something she actively and consciously plans for.  She spoke in the video about how she leaves water bottles within her son’s reach. She sets snacks right at the edge of the counter. She has even taught her toddler to use the water dispenser in the fridge, not because of the convenience, but because she wants to be sure he can get what he needs, just in case she’s not around. “I know he’s a little independent,” she says about her two-year-old son, “but if something happened to me, he’d still need help.” 

Her video quickly struck a chord with fellow parents, and moms started flooding the comments to say they’ve had similar fears. “The postpartum anxiety is postpartum 'anxiety-ing',” wrote @lynhowe. Another user, Uncle_Fester, echoing similar sentiments, wrote, "When you become a mother fear of dying is real." Many users, including @daviesmeade, were quick to suggest that she might be experiencing postpartum anxiety, and the comments section mirrored that she was far from alone.

In fact, many women, after giving birth, tend to go through the same thing; it just is not widely talked about. According to the Cleveland Clinic, this kind of worry can become overwhelming and persistent. It’s a form of extreme stress that doesn’t ease up, making it difficult to relax or feel at peace throughout the day. It can also manifest as constant unease, irrational fears, or a heightened sense of danger. For example, someone experiencing postpartum anxiety might stay awake all night, fearful that their baby might stop breathing in their sleep. They may feel unable to leave their baby with a trusted adult, even their spouse, due to intense worry. The thought of stepping outside their home might trigger distress and a racing heartbeat, fearing harm to themselves or their child.

In fact, more than 80% of expecting and new parents experience intrusive thoughts, according to Gidget Foundation Australia. “They may make expectant and new parents feel like they are going crazy, but they are not,” the organization explained as reported by the New York Post. Health professionals at Gidget recommend that when an intrusive thought arises, parents should label it as “intrusive”, remind themselves that it is not who they are, and allow time for it to pass.